Managing Law School w/ a Kid (or Kids) Forum

[vuthy]

Looked through old threads and couldn't really find a recent one so I thought I'd reboot. Interested in hearing from current/former students with kids. Also any 0L's, like me, who are about to start that balancing act.

I'll start. I have a 3-year-old and my wife works full time. So right now, in addition to weighing all the other factors that go into picking a school, I'm trying to figure out if I can line up quality full-time day care.

[JJ123]

0L with a young child, too. I'm planning on coming home for dinner every night if at all possible. If I still need to study, I'll do it after she goes to bed. I think that if you're really meticulous with your time, you can get most of your studying done during the day. I'm sure I'll have to do some weekends as well.

[Decimus]

I have a 4 yr old, 2 yr old and another one due in June before school starts. Wife works full time. Yikes.

Biggest challenge is the childcare bill. In the city full day care for 3 kids will run you 2.5k pm and up. So we're both commuting about an hour each way to live in a lower cost area.

It's going to be an adventure. BUT, I'm currently active duty, and honestly nothing law school can throw at me is going to compare in terms of being away/stress/etc.

Maybe we should start a TLS parents support group. I know I'll be needing it!

[deepwater]

I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old, wife is at home with them. We plan on living off of our savings the first year then working part-time after that. We're leaving a low-paying, but secure job to go to law school. A little scared of burning through our savings, but we're also planning on going through debt-free. I wonder how I'll feel about this decision three and a half years from now. Anyone else feeling some trepidation right about now?

[Charlestonsfb60]

I have a two year old and my wife is graduating in May before we move to wherever I choose for LS. I'm definitely feeling some trepidation right now. I plan on just treating it like a full time job 9-5 and spending evenings with family. Also, only really applied to schools in areas with low COL's in order to live cheap since we will be paying for day care. My wife will work in a very practical career so I am hoping that she will be able to find a job relatively quickly and help keep debt low. Other than that, loans galore.

[vuthy]

I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old, wife is at home with them. We plan on living off of our savings the first year then working part-time after that. We're leaving a low-paying, but secure job to go to law school. A little scared of burning through our savings, but we're also planning on going through debt-free. I wonder how I'll feel about this decision three and a half years from now. Anyone else feeling some trepidation right about now?

Trepidation for sure, but good to know we're not alone in that. Right now the thing that has me most concerned is getting into good daycare. I'm still weighing several school options, and with their general slowness (especially wrt $), I may not have a final call until mid-April. For some of the cities we're looking at, that's way too late to get in for full-time day care at the good places.

Wish the universities had childcare facilities for grad students w/ kids. I know some do, but not the ones on my shortlist.

[Decimus]

I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old, wife is at home with them. We plan on living off of our savings the first year then working part-time after that. We're leaving a low-paying, but secure job to go to law school. A little scared of burning through our savings, but we're also planning on going through debt-free. I wonder how I'll feel about this decision three and a half years from now. Anyone else feeling some trepidation right about now?

Trepidation for sure, but good to know we're not alone in that. Right now the thing that has me most concerned is getting into good daycare. I'm still weighing several school options, and with their general slowness (especially wrt $), I may not have a final call until mid-April. For some of the cities we're looking at, that's way too late to get in for full-time day care at the good places.

Wish the universities had childcare facilities for grad students w/ kids. I know some do, but not the ones on my shortlist.

Check out the YMCA in your area. It might be a good option.

[CLhouston]

0L here. I have three children. All boys, 9, 7, and 3. I'm not really all that nervous about how I'll handle school with them because I've had kids throughout 90% of my post-high school education. It is my norm now. Last year I was a full time graduate student, with the three kids, no close family for support, and with a deployed husband. I seem to be adapting to high stress situations (compared to the same experience during my undergrad when I didn't do so well). Sometimes I doubt my sanity, but I know I can do it. The only part I'm really concerned about is extended care for my older set. So far I have been able to set my schedule and still be able to take my kids to school and pick them up in the afternoons (we don't have buses). My little one currently goes to a private church based preschool and I'll need to move him into a fulltime program. Thankfully the programs are out there for us to use, I'm really just concerned about paying for them all. :/ I plan on using this summer to get extremely organized, going so far as to map out exactly when I will do chores, sleep, workout, study, and so forth. I feel like the less I have to think about how I will fit it all in, the more I'll actually be able to do it all.

[kalvano]

I didn't have kids during law school (I do now) but I was married and balancing school and family life. You guys should be fine. You'll have a pretty fixed schedule, and law school will not consume your every waking minute (except for finals and a couple spots during 1L). In fact, you'll probably have more time to spend with the kids if you're going full time.

Don't really have anything else, just thought you might want to know the time commitment will not be as brutal as you hear about.

[klondike5]

Great topic. My wife will be working full time, baby will be 2.5 when I start in the fall. We are looking to be as debt free as possible, but probably taking out Grad Plus loans for the first year and trying to stretch it to 2 or 3 years to fill the gap that her income and our savings may not cover. COL is a real concern for us and is becoming a strong influence on some of the choices we have to make. Quality day care is a concern since we love our current place. Many of the schools we are considering have daycare on campus staffed by faculty and students, which is super convenient, but I am worried about the quality of the staff.

[klondike5]

0L with a young child, too. I'm planning on coming home for dinner every night if at all possible. If I still need to study, I'll do it after she goes to bed. I think that if you're really meticulous with your time, you can get most of your studying done during the day. I'm sure I'll have to do some weekends as well.

This is what I am planning too. I currently work full time (40-50 hours) and take a full class load in UG (30-35 hours on campus/at home) and I kind of make it work like this now so I think it is something that can be accomplished. There is a guide by a poster called Lazy that outlines how he made it work 1L. He says he was off nights and weekends aside from exam time and ranked pretty high in his class at a top 20 I think.

[AP-375]

3L, 2 kids here. Anecdotally, at my T30, students with kids seemed to have pretty good outcomes relative to everyone else. Probably a combination of responsibility for others + discipline + structure + support group, etc. I worked really hard my 1L year, got job things lined up, and for the last 2 years, I've enjoyed a ton of time, flexibility, and autonomy with my wife and kids. It gets ugly during finals, but it is really doable. You guys will be fine.

[vuthy]

3L, 2 kids here. Anecdotally, at my T30, students with kids seemed to have pretty good outcomes relative to everyone else. Probably a combination of responsibility for others + discipline + structure + support group, etc. I worked really hard my 1L year, got job things lined up, and for the last 2 years, I've enjoyed a ton of time, flexibility, and autonomy with my wife and kids. It gets ugly during finals, but it is really doable. You guys will be fine.

This is exactly the model I'm hoping to emulate.

[haus]

I hope to soon start as a part-time program. I have a daughter who just turned 5, my wife is currently staying at home. Between work and school, I suspect there are many long days ahead. I have had a small taste of this lifestyle as I spent the better part of the first three years of my daughters life working on a master's degree.

[Magnifique1908]

3L, 2 kids here. Anecdotally, at my T30, students with kids seemed to have pretty good outcomes relative to everyone else. Probably a combination of responsibility for others + discipline + structure + support group, etc. I worked really hard my 1L year, got job things lined up, and for the last 2 years, I've enjoyed a ton of time, flexibility, and autonomy with my wife and kids. It gets ugly during finals, but it is really doable. You guys will be fine.

This has been my experience as well. 2L at UT. My SO works full time and we have a 2.5 year old. We moved toTexas 6 days after his 1st birthday. I had a full time career before law school and though 1L year was tough, it was easier than my first year as a working mom.

My grades are fine, I spend every evening with my kiddo, and received SA offers for both my 1L and 2L summers. Sometimes I think I manage my time a bit more efficiently than my unattached friends because I know my time is limited. Most of my fellow law school parent friends have done quite well too. There are about 3 weeks a semester when things get stressful but that is to be expected and my SO kicks in extra effort during that time.

Overall I have more time than I did when I was working. Law school with little ones is definitely doable. Good luck fellow parents!

[hemicat27]

I'm encouraged to know I'm not alone! 0L with two 10 year old girls (one is mine and one is hubby's from previous marriages). Only one of them lives with us full time, the other visits every other weekend. Like some have mentioned I intend to try to get the majority of my studying done during the day and be home for dinner. I was a single mom for 7 years of my daughter's life and, save for a period of unemployment due to lay off, I've always worked full time. So I'm pretty used to the balancing act. The big source of nerves for me is hubby finding a good job in the market where my school of choice is.

[Dingo Starr]

Wish the universities had childcare facilities for grad students w/ kids. I know some do, but not the ones on my shortlist.

Some schools that do not have childcare facilities offer a childcare stipend. I'll be applying for a 1k/semester stipend, most likely, though it only applies to children under 12.

0L with a 10 and 14 yr old girl at home. Time management is going to become more strained but my girls are at an age where they are more and more self-sufficient. Finding the balance is the key, I think, to making it work for you.

[raininthedesert]

I found it damn near impossible with an active dog. But the good news is that children are easier...they can be toilet trained and left for long periods of time at home in front of the television. My classmates who were single parents left their children at extended daycare. The ones with partners seemed to make it work much more easily.

[worldtraveler]

Make sure you inform student services that you have kids. Some schools have a "mommy mod" where they make sure they give you classes at convenient times for 1L year. I randomly ended up in that my 1L year and we had class from 10-3 while other mods had early mornings or afternoons/evenings.

[Dingo Starr]

Thank you for that, worldtraveler.
I didn't know that was an acceptable reason to request schedule change. It would make my commute much easier.

[CrystalLee]

I will be working full-time and starting the part-time evening program in the fall. My kids are 4,5 and 15. Luckily daycare costs will be low; all 3 of them will be in school all day next year, and my husband works nights from midnight to 9:00am so he'll be able to get them off the bus and handle homework, dinner, and more importantly, the necessary constant supervision of our 15 year-old daughter (teenage girls - bleh ). I'm extremely worried about being able to juggle work, school, time with the kids, and my husband. The kids biggest concern is Dad cooking their dinner every night. Needless to say the next four years are going to be pretty interesting.

[intlsplitr]

It is definitely possible to have kids and get everything done. I had a child during the spring semester of 1L (this year). Except for not being well rested at any point, I do not think it changed my ability to be prepared for class/keep up with schoolwork. I assume that most of the people ITT had work experience before going to law school. I approach school like a job, generally working from 7a-6p on the week days, plus 5-6 hours over the weekend. This gives me time to spend with the spouse and the child during the evenings and on the weekend.

It helps to have a frank conversation your significant other about how you are planning to work so that everyone is on the same page, before it becomes an issue. I do my work at school so that I can concentrate on 'family time' when I am at home. Others do homework at home so they can share the child care load. You have to figure out what will work for you.

[Decimus]

It is definitely possible to have kids and get everything done. I had a child during the spring semester of 1L (this year). Except for not being well rested at any point, I do not think it changed my ability to be prepared for class/keep up with schoolwork. I assume that most of the people ITT had work experience before going to law school. I approach school like a job, generally working from 7a-6p on the week days, plus 5-6 hours over the weekend. This gives me time to spend with the spouse and the child during the evenings and on the weekend.

I needed to hear this--even if the sense of security it provides turns out to be false! I'll have three when I start this fall, one infant and two more under 5. But I also assuage my anxiety by thinking that perhaps, since this ain't my first rodeo, that might make the going a bit easier.

[84651846190]

I didn't have kids during law school (I do now) but I was married and balancing school and family life. You guys should be fine. You'll have a pretty fixed schedule, and law school will not consume your every waking minute (except for finals and a couple spots during 1L). In fact, you'll probably have more time to spend with the kids if you're going full time.

Don't really have anything else, just thought you might want to know the time commitment will not be as brutal as you hear about.

Um, being married should make law school *easier* than being single, not harder. Having kids, on the other hand, makes everything significantly harder.

[Nyclawyer618]

Anecdotally, at my T30. You guys will be fine.