How do you get yourself to go when you don't want to? Forum
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Anonymous Posting
Anonymous posting is only available to the creator of each thread. The anonymous posting feature is intended to permit the solicitation of anonymous advice regarding the transfer application process, chances of being accepted, etc. Unacceptable uses include: testing the feature, questions which are clearly fake or hypothetical in nature, harassing other users, etc. Posters should also read and understand the announcements posted at the top of the Transfers forum prior to using the anonymous feature.
Failure to follow these rules will get you outed, warned, or banned.
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Anonymous User
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How do you get yourself to go when you don't want to?
I am looking to transfer this year. I am at a mid T2 school with 75% scholarship in the top ten percent with a good job this summer. At first, I was so excited about the endless possibilities. However, now that the chips are down and I have to make a decision, I can't get myself to pull the trigger and apply. I think it's just being so afraid of the unknown. I know if I go, I will have more opportunities than I would ever think of, but I am just so nervous and scared. I love my current school, my friends, faculty, and region. But I also fear that I didn't give myself the best chance. Any suggestions on how you handled this?
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objctnyrhnr
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Re: How do you get yourself to go when you don't want to?
If you’re at a t2 with that level of scholly and presumably a class rank that’d get you to a much higher ranked school (what: t20? T14), are you sure that you want to transfer?
If so why? Or more specifically, why are you so sure that any relative increase in outcome will be worth the scholly sacrifice?
If so why? Or more specifically, why are you so sure that any relative increase in outcome will be worth the scholly sacrifice?
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BrainsyK
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Re: How do you get yourself to go when you don't want to?
I know that there's a whole big issue about whether it'll be worth it, and if that gets resolved, OP won't really have a problem, but I want to address to spirit of the question.
I never transferred, but I've had to "permanently" move to 3 places with 2 temporary trips of a year or more back home. In the interim, I've shed most of my hometown friends and watched as two of my best friends become closer without me as the Third Musketeer. One of them mentioned that they've spent every New Year's Eve since 2010 together, and I was literally "Oh, I haven't been there for any of those..."
I'm not a person who likes new experiences at all so it's never been easy. I like peace and quiet. I like middle-class suburbs. None of the places I had to move to came close to those things, and I didn't have friends or a network when I landed, but I've always thought of it as the pursuit of opportunity.
Your career--legal or not--will be long, and if not, your life will be. Opportunities will always come for a better paycheck, more rewarding experience, whatever you can think of, and you'll always have to sacrifice some comfort. That's literally what an opportunity, a chance to do something that you haven't been able to do. I'm sure moving isn't the first unpleasant thing that you've been asked to do in pursuit of a better life--nor will it be the last.
If you always stay where you are and never deal with discomfort, you will miss out on things in life. Opportunities that are worth pursuing are usually also time-limited, and if you don't have your eyes open and your mental shit packed and ready to go, someone else will, and they'll reap the big bucks, the experience, again, whatever you can think of.
This isn't just about money or prestige either. I've also made great friends and had great experiences along the way, and those things have been very rewarding. Honestly, it sounds nasty to say, but friends are a dime a dozen. There's plenty of people everywhere you go, and if you can't get along with any of them well, then you'll have bigger problems than just not liking the place where you are.
I'm not saying that it's worth it or it's not. Those decisions are intensely personal, but life is always about these little trades that you have to make. Some people will get tired of it eventually and decide that what they have makes 'em happy. That's great for them. I certainly am tired of it, but I know that some things in my life can be better, and maybe drastic change is the solution to some of those things. If you've got some that you know that you always wanted, don't let these imagined discomforts get in your way thinking that you'll just do it tomorrow. In my experience, you never get more comfortable with discomfort. At best, you have some lead-in time to sneak things onto yourself. For instance, try filling out an application for 5 minutes today. Then do 5 more minutes tomorrow. One step forward at a time. It's the only way to do things.
Wow... That's a lot of cheesy stuff that I've just typed, but it is the capital T Truth--for me at least.
I never transferred, but I've had to "permanently" move to 3 places with 2 temporary trips of a year or more back home. In the interim, I've shed most of my hometown friends and watched as two of my best friends become closer without me as the Third Musketeer. One of them mentioned that they've spent every New Year's Eve since 2010 together, and I was literally "Oh, I haven't been there for any of those..."
I'm not a person who likes new experiences at all so it's never been easy. I like peace and quiet. I like middle-class suburbs. None of the places I had to move to came close to those things, and I didn't have friends or a network when I landed, but I've always thought of it as the pursuit of opportunity.
Your career--legal or not--will be long, and if not, your life will be. Opportunities will always come for a better paycheck, more rewarding experience, whatever you can think of, and you'll always have to sacrifice some comfort. That's literally what an opportunity, a chance to do something that you haven't been able to do. I'm sure moving isn't the first unpleasant thing that you've been asked to do in pursuit of a better life--nor will it be the last.
If you always stay where you are and never deal with discomfort, you will miss out on things in life. Opportunities that are worth pursuing are usually also time-limited, and if you don't have your eyes open and your mental shit packed and ready to go, someone else will, and they'll reap the big bucks, the experience, again, whatever you can think of.
This isn't just about money or prestige either. I've also made great friends and had great experiences along the way, and those things have been very rewarding. Honestly, it sounds nasty to say, but friends are a dime a dozen. There's plenty of people everywhere you go, and if you can't get along with any of them well, then you'll have bigger problems than just not liking the place where you are.
I'm not saying that it's worth it or it's not. Those decisions are intensely personal, but life is always about these little trades that you have to make. Some people will get tired of it eventually and decide that what they have makes 'em happy. That's great for them. I certainly am tired of it, but I know that some things in my life can be better, and maybe drastic change is the solution to some of those things. If you've got some that you know that you always wanted, don't let these imagined discomforts get in your way thinking that you'll just do it tomorrow. In my experience, you never get more comfortable with discomfort. At best, you have some lead-in time to sneak things onto yourself. For instance, try filling out an application for 5 minutes today. Then do 5 more minutes tomorrow. One step forward at a time. It's the only way to do things.
Wow... That's a lot of cheesy stuff that I've just typed, but it is the capital T Truth--for me at least.
