Bring a parent to law school visit? Forum

[alwayssunnyinfl]

Where was this thread when nearly every WUSTL applicant argued up and down with me about this?

Try as you might, you will never shake the reputation of being a douche. It's called the "Halo Effect." You might want to look it up, seeing as you know nothing about psychology.

[teiswei]

Where was this thread when nearly every WUSTL applicant argued up and down with me about this?

Try as you might, you will never shake the reputation of being a douche. It's called the "Halo Effect." You might want to look it up, seeing as you know nothing about psychology.

If it is douchey (word?) to try and help you guys not embarrass yourselves, then I'm clearly a douche. I referenced the halo effect to support my claim. It's an observed sociological (not psychological) theory and applies to the discussion at hand. As you can see from the vast majority of students ITT, it's not acceptable to bring parents to ASW.

[alwayssunnyinfl]

Where was this thread when nearly every WUSTL applicant argued up and down with me about this?

Try as you might, you will never shake the reputation of being a douche. It's called the "Halo Effect." You might want to look it up, seeing as you know nothing about psychology.

If it is douchey (word?) to try and help you guys not embarrass yourselves, then I'm clearly a douche. I referenced the halo effect to support my claim. It's an observed sociological (not psychological) theory and applies to the discussion at hand. As you can see from the vast majority of students ITT, it's not acceptable to bring parents to ASW.

(6 years later)

Partner: "Hey, Johnson, can you make sure to have that on my desk by 5?"

Johnson: "Sure thing!"

Partner: "Anderson, didn't you go to NYU with Johnson?"

Anderson: "Yeah, but he brought his parents to ASD! I just can't see him as an adult."

[teiswei]

Where was this thread when nearly every WUSTL applicant argued up and down with me about this?

Try as you might, you will never shake the reputation of being a douche. It's called the "Halo Effect." You might want to look it up, seeing as you know nothing about psychology.

If it is douchey (word?) to try and help you guys not embarrass yourselves, then I'm clearly a douche. I referenced the halo effect to support my claim. It's an observed sociological (not psychological) theory and applies to the discussion at hand. As you can see from the vast majority of students ITT, it's not acceptable to bring parents to ASW.

(6 years later)

Partner: "Hey, Johnson, can you make sure to have that on my desk by 5?"

Johnson: "Sure thing!"

Partner: "Anderson, didn't you go to NYU with Johnson?"

Anderson: "Yeah, but he brought his parents to ASD! I just can't see him as an adult."

You clearly don't understand the theory. The judgement is passed and subconsciously you think less of that person. This happens every day of your life. I know that you may not have professional work experience but when you do, you'll understand.

[alwayssunnyinfl]

Dude, you're too easy

[clone22]

Not reading this whole thread. If you're visiting and it's not ASD, why not bring your parents? No one will give a damn or remember your parents visiting, and it's kind of cool to show your parents what you (with their help, presumably) have accomplished. Be nice to your parents while you can, if you're doing law school, you won't be seeing them very frequently in the foreseeable future.

[alwayssunnyinfl]

Also, I just wanted to point out that during the ASD's I've gone to, I met maybe one or two admitted students that I didn't already know. I "met" current students, but they were definitely too drunk at both events to really remember me. The idea that the presence of parents would follow you around like a stink just strikes me as the same amount of silly as saying dressing super sharp will make people remember you. You're an uncommitted 0L, no one will remember you.

[ironbmike]

Also, I just wanted to point out that during the ASD's I've gone to, I met maybe one or two admitted students that I didn't already know. I "met" current students, but they were definitely too drunk at both events to really remember me. The idea that the presence of parents would follow you around like a stink just strikes me as the same amount of silly as saying dressing super sharp will make people remember you. You're an uncommitted 0L, no one will remember you.

I will 100% remember that Indian girl who's parents were there and making an ass out of themselves.

[alwayssunnyinfl]

Also, I just wanted to point out that during the ASD's I've gone to, I met maybe one or two admitted students that I didn't already know. I "met" current students, but they were definitely too drunk at both events to really remember me. The idea that the presence of parents would follow you around like a stink just strikes me as the same amount of silly as saying dressing super sharp will make people remember you. You're an uncommitted 0L, no one will remember you.

I will 100% remember that Indian girl who's parents were there and making an ass out of themselves.

She should have covered her face.

[shntn]

Also, I just wanted to point out that during the ASD's I've gone to, I met maybe one or two admitted students that I didn't already know. I "met" current students, but they were definitely too drunk at both events to really remember me. The idea that the presence of parents would follow you around like a stink just strikes me as the same amount of silly as saying dressing super sharp will make people remember you. You're an uncommitted 0L, no one will remember you.

I will 100% remember that Indian girl who's parents were there and making an ass out of themselves.

Also, I definitely remember a gunner 0L at one of my ASDs precisely because of the full suit EVERY DAY.

[TaipeiMort]

I really don't understand bringing a parent to the law school around your peers, except at graduation, even if they are paying for it (which they shouldn't be). In my mind (and I might be crazy or something), this is as weird as telling racist jokes in public and thinking it is okay, or having one of those adult baby fetishes where you wear pajamas and a binky around at K-mart. There is no good reason to bring your parent to ASW. This is professional school. The students you meet will be your peers, and you may call upon them for recommendations, job help, or collaborate with them professionally or academically in the future. People will remember that you did this, and they will think you are a bit weird. The fact that you would put your need to accommodate your parents ahead of the first step in developing a network your future career shows you aren't ready to be a professional and should probably sort your issues out before starting law school.

[ironbmike]

I really don't understand bringing a parent to the law school around your peers, except at graduation, even if they are paying for it (which they shouldn't be). In my mind (and I might be crazy or something), this is as weird as telling racist jokes in public and thinking it is okay, or having one of those adult baby fetishes where you wear pajamas and a binky around at K-mart. There is no good reason to bring your parent to ASW. This is professional school. The students you meet will be your peers, and you may call upon them for recommendations, job help, or collaborate with them professionally or academically in the future. People will remember that you did this, and they will think you are a bit weird. The fact that you would put your need to accommodate your parents ahead of the first step in developing a network your future career shows you aren't ready to be a professional and should probably sort your issues out before starting law school.

+1. True story: I know a 23 year old who has a full time job paying 50K+ a year and is going to start grad school soon. Not only did his parents pay for college (that's fine, it's normal), they are paying for his grad school. Okay, that's dumb but it happens. But get this. They also still pay for his rent + utilities, for his car, and actually everything. I'm not sure if he has his own bank accounts. He uses their credit card and has to let them know when he buys expensive things. Either the money he is making is getting straight banked by him or it's going to his parents. And he is 23, soon to be 24. Living "on his own" (aka has an apartment) but spends at least 50% of his nights at home with his parents.

Also, we filled up gas one time and I said "wow gas is cheap here" and he had no clue how to judge cheap or expensive gas because he never looked. Also he went grocery shopping alone for the first time in his life when he was 22 and didn't know if pre-packaged deli meat was raw or edible. I've seen him buy expensive things with their card and then sell for cash on Craigslist, or return it at the store for cash. They bought him a $26K car a few years ago but now he says he wants to sell it because he wants a nicer car in a higher price range.

I could actually go on and on but I'll stop here.

[TaipeiMort]

I really don't understand bringing a parent to the law school around your peers, except at graduation, even if they are paying for it (which they shouldn't be). In my mind (and I might be crazy or something), this is as weird as telling racist jokes in public and thinking it is okay, or having one of those adult baby fetishes where you wear pajamas and a binky around at K-mart. There is no good reason to bring your parent to ASW. This is professional school. The students you meet will be your peers, and you may call upon them for recommendations, job help, or collaborate with them professionally or academically in the future. People will remember that you did this, and they will think you are a bit weird. The fact that you would put your need to accommodate your parents ahead of the first step in developing a network your future career shows you aren't ready to be a professional and should probably sort your issues out before starting law school.

+1. True story: I know a 23 year old who has a full time job paying 50K+ a year and is going to start grad school soon. Not only did his parents pay for college (that's fine, it's normal), they are paying for his grad school. Okay, that's dumb but it happens. But get this. They also still pay for his rent + utilities, for his car, and actually everything. I'm not sure if he has his own bank accounts. He uses their credit card and has to let them know when he buys expensive things. Either the money he is making is getting straight banked by him or it's going to his parents. And he is 23, soon to be 24. Living "on his own" (aka has an apartment) but spends at least 50% of his nights at home with his parents.

Also, we filled up gas one time and I said "wow gas is cheap here" and he had no clue how to judge cheap or expensive gas because he never looked. Also he went grocery shopping alone for the first time in his life when he was 22 and didn't know if pre-packaged deli meat was raw or edible. I've seen him buy expensive things with their card and then sell for cash on Craigslist, or return it at the store for cash. They bought him a $26K car a few years ago but now he says he wants to sell it because he wants a nicer car in a higher price range.

I could actually go on and on but I'll stop here.

Having your parents pay for stuff like graduate school is weird. I can understand splitting undergrad costs or something. We know this married couple who still have their parents pay for a lot of their stuff.

Also, there was this dude in college who had never bathed himself before, his mom had always spongebathed him, so he would just stand there in the dorm shower not knowing what to do. So, we had to teach him how to shower with soap and stuff (not making this up).

[ironbmike]

I really don't understand bringing a parent to the law school around your peers, except at graduation, even if they are paying for it (which they shouldn't be). In my mind (and I might be crazy or something), this is as weird as telling racist jokes in public and thinking it is okay, or having one of those adult baby fetishes where you wear pajamas and a binky around at K-mart. There is no good reason to bring your parent to ASW. This is professional school. The students you meet will be your peers, and you may call upon them for recommendations, job help, or collaborate with them professionally or academically in the future. People will remember that you did this, and they will think you are a bit weird. The fact that you would put your need to accommodate your parents ahead of the first step in developing a network your future career shows you aren't ready to be a professional and should probably sort your issues out before starting law school.

+1. True story: I know a 23 year old who has a full time job paying 50K+ a year and is going to start grad school soon. Not only did his parents pay for college (that's fine, it's normal), they are paying for his grad school. Okay, that's dumb but it happens. But get this. They also still pay for his rent + utilities, for his car, and actually everything. I'm not sure if he has his own bank accounts. He uses their credit card and has to let them know when he buys expensive things. Either the money he is making is getting straight banked by him or it's going to his parents. And he is 23, soon to be 24. Living "on his own" (aka has an apartment) but spends at least 50% of his nights at home with his parents.

Also, we filled up gas one time and I said "wow gas is cheap here" and he had no clue how to judge cheap or expensive gas because he never looked. Also he went grocery shopping alone for the first time in his life when he was 22 and didn't know if pre-packaged deli meat was raw or edible. I've seen him buy expensive things with their card and then sell for cash on Craigslist, or return it at the store for cash. They bought him a $26K car a few years ago but now he says he wants to sell it because he wants a nicer car in a higher price range.

I could actually go on and on but I'll stop here.

Having your parents pay for stuff like graduate school is weird. I can understand splitting undergrad costs or something. We know this married couple who still have their parents pay for a lot of their stuff.

Also, there was this dude in college who had never bathed himself before, his mom had always spongebathed him, so he would just stand there in the dorm shower not knowing what to do. So, we had to teach him how to shower with soap and stuff (not making this up).

I didn't think anything could top mine but...holy fuck.

[nickb285]

I really don't understand bringing a parent to the law school around your peers, except at graduation, even if they are paying for it (which they shouldn't be). In my mind (and I might be crazy or something), this is as weird as telling racist jokes in public and thinking it is okay, or having one of those adult baby fetishes where you wear pajamas and a binky around at K-mart. There is no good reason to bring your parent to ASW. This is professional school. The students you meet will be your peers, and you may call upon them for recommendations, job help, or collaborate with them professionally or academically in the future. People will remember that you did this, and they will think you are a bit weird. The fact that you would put your need to accommodate your parents ahead of the first step in developing a network your future career shows you aren't ready to be a professional and should probably sort your issues out before starting law school.

I wouldn't put it on the same level as being racist or publicly indulging a weird sexual fetish. But it does surprise me how many people here don't see a problem with inviting parents to an event that's supposed to 1. Introduce you to the (graduate, professional) school you're potentially attending and 2. Introduce you to your potential classmates/future connections. A spouse is one thing, a spouse will have to move with you if you go somewhere, they'll be a part of your peer group along with anyone you meet, and most importantly they're not your mommy and daddy.

I have a great relationship with my parents. They've offered to help me out with some living expenses while I'm in school, we spend holidays together, talk frequently, all of that good stuff. But bringing them to an event where you're supposed to make what is essentially a career and financial decision, and meet future members of your social group, is just friggin' weird. You have every right to bring them, if you want. But DavidBentley summed it up in the first response to OP:

Bringing a parent to a school visit is like bringing a glove to a baseball game. You can do it if you're over 12, but you should expect to be judged for it.

Whether or not you think that's right or justified is irrelevant; people will think you're the weird guy who can't separate from his parents for one freaking afternoon, and it will color their first impression of you. Can you make up for that later? Of course. But you know what's easier than reversing people's first impression of you as "that weird guy"? Not bringing your parents to a function where there is no point whatsoever to their attendance.

And seriously, SPONGEBATH? Oh man that's weird.

[rad lulz]

I really don't understand bringing a parent to the law school around your peers, except at graduation, even if they are paying for it (which they shouldn't be). In my mind (and I might be crazy or something), this is as weird as telling racist jokes in public and thinking it is okay, or having one of those adult baby fetishes where you wear pajamas and a binky around at K-mart. There is no good reason to bring your parent to ASW. This is professional school. The students you meet will be your peers, and you may call upon them for recommendations, job help, or collaborate with them professionally or academically in the future. People will remember that you did this, and they will think you are a bit weird. The fact that you would put your need to accommodate your parents ahead of the first step in developing a network your future career shows you aren't ready to be a professional and should probably sort your issues out before starting law school.

So you're saying I shouldn't have gotten blackout at ASW?

[09042014]

I really don't understand bringing a parent to the law school around your peers, except at graduation, even if they are paying for it (which they shouldn't be). In my mind (and I might be crazy or something), this is as weird as telling racist jokes in public and thinking it is okay, or having one of those adult baby fetishes where you wear pajamas and a binky around at K-mart. There is no good reason to bring your parent to ASW. This is professional school. The students you meet will be your peers, and you may call upon them for recommendations, job help, or collaborate with them professionally or academically in the future. People will remember that you did this, and they will think you are a bit weird. The fact that you would put your need to accommodate your parents ahead of the first step in developing a network your future career shows you aren't ready to be a professional and should probably sort your issues out before starting law school.

+1. True story: I know a 23 year old who has a full time job paying 50K+ a year and is going to start grad school soon. Not only did his parents pay for college (that's fine, it's normal), they are paying for his grad school. Okay, that's dumb but it happens. But get this. They also still pay for his rent + utilities, for his car, and actually everything. I'm not sure if he has his own bank accounts. He uses their credit card and has to let them know when he buys expensive things. Either the money he is making is getting straight banked by him or it's going to his parents. And he is 23, soon to be 24. Living "on his own" (aka has an apartment) but spends at least 50% of his nights at home with his parents.

Also, we filled up gas one time and I said "wow gas is cheap here" and he had no clue how to judge cheap or expensive gas because he never looked. Also he went grocery shopping alone for the first time in his life when he was 22 and didn't know if pre-packaged deli meat was raw or edible. I've seen him buy expensive things with their card and then sell for cash on Craigslist, or return it at the store for cash. They bought him a $26K car a few years ago but now he says he wants to sell it because he wants a nicer car in a higher price range.

I could actually go on and on but I'll stop here.

Having your parents pay for stuff like graduate school is weird. I can understand splitting undergrad costs or something. We know this married couple who still have their parents pay for a lot of their stuff.

Also, there was this dude in college who had never bathed himself before, his mom had always spongebathed him, so he would just stand there in the dorm shower not knowing what to do. So, we had to teach him how to shower with soap and stuff (not making this up).

Wow, the first time where molestation is the less weird explanation.

[TaipeiMort]

I really don't understand bringing a parent to the law school around your peers, except at graduation, even if they are paying for it (which they shouldn't be). In my mind (and I might be crazy or something), this is as weird as telling racist jokes in public and thinking it is okay, or having one of those adult baby fetishes where you wear pajamas and a binky around at K-mart. There is no good reason to bring your parent to ASW. This is professional school. The students you meet will be your peers, and you may call upon them for recommendations, job help, or collaborate with them professionally or academically in the future. People will remember that you did this, and they will think you are a bit weird. The fact that you would put your need to accommodate your parents ahead of the first step in developing a network your future career shows you aren't ready to be a professional and should probably sort your issues out before starting law school.

I wouldn't put it on the same level as being racist or publicly indulging a weird sexual fetish. But it does surprise me how many people here don't see a problem with inviting parents to an event that's supposed to 1. Introduce you to the (graduate, professional) school you're potentially attending and 2. Introduce you to your potential classmates/future connections. A spouse is one thing, a spouse will have to move with you if you go somewhere, they'll be a part of your peer group along with anyone you meet, and most importantly they're not your mommy and daddy.

I have a great relationship with my parents. They've offered to help me out with some living expenses while I'm in school, we spend holidays together, talk frequently, all of that good stuff. But bringing them to an event where you're supposed to make what is essentially a career and financial decision, and meet future members of your social group, is just friggin' weird. You have every right to bring them, if you want. But DavidBentley summed it up in the first response to OP:

Bringing a parent to a school visit is like bringing a glove to a baseball game. You can do it if you're over 12, but you should expect to be judged for it.

Whether or not you think that's right or justified is irrelevant; people will think you're the weird guy who can't separate from his parents for one freaking afternoon, and it will color their first impression of you. Can you make up for that later? Of course. But you know what's easier than reversing people's first impression of you as "that weird guy"? Not bringing your parents to a function where there is no point whatsoever to their attendance.

And seriously, SPONGEBATH? Oh man that's weird.

Its prolly just me then.

[Xifeng]

do we find it equally as weird to bring your SO ? Given that he/she may live there ?

No that's totally fine, people do it all the time.

And people do remember the weird shit from ASW. Not all of it, but you don't want to be pushing the boundaries of that.

[Needajob1]

i feel bad for those of you who think it's embarrassing or helicopter-like for someone to bring a parent to tour the law school. are you kidding? clearly, your parents have never shown an interest in anything you've ever done, and it shows. lol. if parents are paying for travel costs + part of tuition (in some cases, all), then don't worry about it. that student is already 10 steps ahead of you, "breh"

Agreed!

[j_shaw]

Bringing a parent (or parents) to see the school is one thing and more than likely no one will care or remember. However, I definitely won't forget the kid who showed up with both parents and four young siblings.

[mephistopheles]

Bringing a parent (or parents) to see the school is one thing and more than likely no one will care or remember. However, I definitely won't forget the kid who showed up with both parents and four young siblings.

seeing as how this is your first post, how was that as an experience?

[Scotusnerd]

i feel bad for those of you who think it's embarrassing or helicopter-like for someone to bring a parent to tour the law school. are you kidding? clearly, your parents have never shown an interest in anything you've ever done, and it shows. lol. if parents are paying for travel costs + part of tuition (in some cases, all), then don't worry about it. that student is already 10 steps ahead of you, "breh"

What you're missing is that bringing your parents to school will incite two separate and negative emotions: superiority and jealousy.

Superiority is from the fact that most normal adults can take care of our shit, and don't rely on our parents to bail us out of the end-of-the-month blues. We're our own people, and we make our own decisions. We assume that our coworkers do the same. That independence is highly treasured. Most of us have had some hard times, and we're proud of our ability to get through them.

By jarring us out of that by introducing your parents, we will feel innately superior to you. Simply put, we have dealt with shit that you have not had to deal with. It will exclude you (at least partially) from the grownup club. Grownups are expected to be responsible, timely and professional. In a profession where your reputation is important, this is a big deal. Get a reputation as a daddy's boy/little princess, and people will NOT like you, especially when you screw up. They will blame your entitled nature.

Second, it inspires jealousy. Yeah, you're right, you are extremely lucky to have someone pay for your law school. Really, I'm not joking. It's fucking awesome, and a huge gift. I'd love to have my parents do that for me.

But most people (myself included) would be jealous of this. You have access to a whole series of resources that they do not, and will never get access to. That is a divide between you and them. And, believe me, a smug attitude does not help your case at all. People think that lording it over someone is the sign of an immature child who thinks they're superior just because he got lucky in the gene lottery. Most people want to be lucky at the gene lottery, and holding up the winning lottery ticket to them and laughing will not engender feelings of good will.

Righteous or not, most human beings will feel jealousy in this situation. They might bottle it up and smile at you, or decide that you "didn't mean it that way", but in their hearts, they know that you are a lucky bastard who is luckier than they are. And quite a few will dislike you for it. Sorry, it's human nature.



To recap: don't bring your parents if you can help it. You will be dealing with a lot of people who did not grow up as lucky as you, and they will NOT like you for drawing attention to that difference. If anything, you will be telling them that you are an entitled prick.

[j_shaw]

Bringing a parent (or parents) to see the school is one thing and more than likely no one will care or remember. However, I definitely won't forget the kid who showed up with both parents and four young siblings.

seeing as how this is your first post, how was that as an experience?

I just thought it was very strange and somewhat disrespectful. The kids were pretty loud and distracting during the mock class. I'm pretty sure the response form for ASD only had the option for a "guest" not 6 of them

[slawww]

i feel bad for those of you who think it's embarrassing or helicopter-like for someone to bring a parent to tour the law school. are you kidding? clearly, your parents have never shown an interest in anything you've ever done, and it shows. lol. if parents are paying for travel costs + part of tuition (in some cases, all), then don't worry about it. that student is already 10 steps ahead of you, "breh"

What you're missing is that bringing your parents to school will incite two separate and negative emotions: superiority and jealousy.

Superiority is from the fact that most normal adults can take care of our shit, and don't rely on our parents to bail us out of the end-of-the-month blues. We're our own people, and we make our own decisions. We assume that our coworkers do the same. That independence is highly treasured. Most of us have had some hard times, and we're proud of our ability to get through them.

By jarring us out of that by introducing your parents, we will feel innately superior to you. Simply put, we have dealt with shit that you have not had to deal with. It will exclude you (at least partially) from the grownup club. Grownups are expected to be responsible, timely and professional. In a profession where your reputation is important, this is a big deal. Get a reputation as a daddy's boy/little princess, and people will NOT like you, especially when you screw up. They will blame your entitled nature.

Second, it inspires jealousy. Yeah, you're right, you are extremely lucky to have someone pay for your law school. Really, I'm not joking. It's fucking awesome, and a huge gift. I'd love to have my parents do that for me.

But most people (myself included) would be jealous of this. You have access to a whole series of resources that they do not, and will never get access to. That is a divide between you and them. And, believe me, a smug attitude does not help your case at all. People think that lording it over someone is the sign of an immature child who thinks they're superior just because he got lucky in the gene lottery. Most people want to be lucky at the gene lottery, and holding up the winning lottery ticket to them and laughing will not engender feelings of good will.

Righteous or not, most human beings will feel jealousy in this situation. They might bottle it up and smile at you, or decide that you "didn't mean it that way", but in their hearts, they know that you are a lucky bastard who is luckier than they are. And quite a few will dislike you for it. Sorry, it's human nature.



To recap: don't bring your parents if you can help it. You will be dealing with a lot of people who did not grow up as lucky as you, and they will NOT like you for drawing attention to that difference. If anything, you will be telling them that you are an entitled prick.

That's some deep shit, man. Judging from what you said in the above post, I think you care too much about what other people think about you. That said, after reading these threads, I followed the TLS advice and did not bring my parents to the ASD I attended, and I'm glad I did, because I felt more comfortable. I talked with a bunch of people who did bring their parents, and they seemed normal to me, and it definitely didn't elicit any of the emotions you brought up. I didn't judge any of them, and if I did, I don't know why they should care anyways. If I were to be in the same section with someone who brought their parents to ASD and I thought they were cool, I wouldn't just shun them or something because he/she brought parents to ASD. It's really not that big of a deal. That said, I'd also recommend not bringing a parent, because I believe it's more socially comfortable without them, but it's not some huge deal, either.