starryski wrote:rcharter1978 wrote:robinhoodOO wrote:rcharter1978 wrote:starryski wrote:currently having post-bar exam depression. it sucks when everyone is so sure you passed. when i know i didn't.
I truly wish people would quit it with that. I know people mean well, but I'm so tired of the "believe in yourself!", "I'm sure you did fine" and various other platitudes.
A friend texted me the other day and I told her that I didn't pass. And of course she launched into "you can't know," "believe in yourself," and on and on and on, and finally I just had to tell her that I didn't really need a pep talk, nor did I want one.
To me - this is the bottom line, and what I'm focused on. By the time November rolls around I will have been studying, you only have 2-3 months to avoid people until the February bar. And most of this is the holiday season where people are preoccupied with themselves, so they will be less interested in giving you lame affirmations. When you walk out of the February bar, or when I walk out of the February bar, I want to feel good. Feeling good means I can tell everyone, "hey, I didn't pass last time, but I'm pretty sure I passed this time."
I don't think many things matter AFTER you pass. It won't really be a huge deal that you didn't pass it the first time. Heck, Franklin Roosevelt failed the bar, and he became the president.
Anyways, just know that you aren't alone. I didn't leave my house for three days and I didn't talk to anyone.
Maybe if some of you guys/girls weren't such Debby Downers people wouldn't feel obligated to try and cheer you up with worthless positive comments.
Honestly, how do you expect people to respond when you tell them you failed?
Mostly, I expect them to listen and be supportive. Everyone who knows me, knows that I'm not one for useless positive platitudes. I'm not sure how someone is a Debby Downer when they are being honest, instead of lying to themselves. But then again, some people like to approach everything with false bravado. In law school they were the same people that would insist they crushed every exam, hit every issue, but by some sad twist of fate always ended up in the bottom of the class.
i dont tell people i think i failed. only my husband. my problem is people at work. everyone asked me how it went and i said i didnt feel good and all i have to do is wait. everyone has started calling me a lawyer, and esquire and i tell them no, not yet, but they say they're so sure i passed. i went to work right after the bar at a law firm...so i guess that was a big mistake lol. should have waited a while to go back i guess.
I don't see anything wrong with being honest with people, especially when they, as everyone will, ask you about it. Do you think its going to just eventually die down and you have to ride it out? If people will let it go in a week or two, maybe you can just ride it out. To me, if you didn't pass, you'll find out in November (in California). Then you only have three months until you take it again. And people will be embroiled in the holidays. You have thanksgiving, Christmas, and new years. That gets you up to January. Than you only have to make it one more month until you take it again. And if you crush it in February than you'll feel a million times better about people assuming you passed because you'll feel good about it too