When is it time to quit the legal job search? Forum

[LBJ's Hair]

You don't have much to worry about - you've been offered so you know how to apply, interview, and get jobs. A lot of good small firm jobs are rarely ever posted publicly. But if you get to know some of the partners at these sub 20 attorney firms, they're often times looking to hire or contract out work. You just have to network with them, then it becomes easy. Just find a common interest that old white-collar people like, golf, skiing, tennis, squash, poker, fantasy sports, cuisine, the stock market. If you ask for "informational interviews" it's tough to get much out of that and takes a lot of time to develop a connection. If you're out at the driving range or talking about the market at happy hour, a lot of times they'll tell you to apply to openings at their firms and that you should work there.

I think this is all great advice, and I love how optimistic and encouraging some of you are towards anonymous strangers on this forum... Although, I can’t help but feel like a lot of the networking tips here are predicated on the assumption that we are all strapping young men privy to chatting it up the stock market with the old geyser next to us at the country club. Do you think young women lawyers should engage in similar networking tactics? I wouldn’t mind talking shop with any lawyer of any gender over a beer, but I feel like it’s taboo for young women to form these casual professional relationships with older men in the type of settings you mentioned. I sometimes feel like I would love to be as casual about my networking as possible, but don’t want to limit myself to only networking with other women in social settings because doing so would neglect a very valuable half of the profession that I could learn a lot from. Do you have any tips on how to address this elephant in the room?

I'd just ask to get coffee rather than beer if you feel like alcohol might send the wrong message.

[QContinuum]

I think this is all great advice, and I love how optimistic and encouraging some of you are towards anonymous strangers on this forum... Although, I can’t help but feel like a lot of the networking tips here are predicated on the assumption that we are all strapping young men privy to chatting it up the stock market with the old geyser next to us at the country club. Do you think young women lawyers should engage in similar networking tactics? I wouldn’t mind talking shop with any lawyer of any gender over a beer, but I feel like it’s taboo for young women to form these casual professional relationships with older men in the type of settings you mentioned. I sometimes feel like I would love to be as casual about my networking as possible, but don’t want to limit myself to only networking with other women in social settings because doing so would neglect a very valuable half of the profession that I could learn a lot from. Do you have any tips on how to address this elephant in the room?

Inevitably you'll run into "old geysers" who're sexist and uncomfortable networking with female lawyers due to gender - IOW, the "Mike Pence crowd." It's sad and unfortunate, but these dinosaurs do still roam the Earth. But there are also (many more!) lawyers of all genders, ages, and ethnicities who are happy to mentor and network with other lawyers of all genders, ages, and ethnicities. So you just gotta try, and (as hard as it can be in practice) don't take it personally when (inevitably, sooner or later) you run into a sexist fossil.

On a somewhat related note, the aforementioned sexist fossils also disproportionately tend to "like" only upper-class, white, "bro-ey" men. Many male lawyers don't fall into that category, whether because they're not white, or weren't born into wealth, or simply because they don't enjoy drinking and the "boys' club" culture. So in a sense, you aren't alone in being written off by some lawyers right off the bat.

Finally, while I agree that you shouldn't limit yourself to only networking with other women, don't be shy about taking particular advantage of women-specific networking opportunities and affinity groups.