Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

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Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:36 pm

I start work as a first year associate at a large firm in NY at the end of October. A good friend of mine from law school is getting married in India in December. His wedding is on a weekday, so I'd for sure need to take at least 3 days off work to make it.

Is it a bad idea to take time off to go so soon after starting?

Part of what worries me is that since its in India, with the time difference I'll be pretty unavailable.
Last edited by Anonymous User on Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Lacepiece23

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Lacepiece23 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:39 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I start work as a first year associate at a large firm in NY at the end of October. A good friend of mine from law school is getting married in India in December. His wedding is on a weekday, so I'd for sure need to take at least 3 days off work to make it.

Is it a bad idea to take time off to go so soon after starting?


I think its completely fine. I really regretted not taking time off during my stub year when I was slow and no one really cared what I was doing.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 12, 2018 2:10 pm

There's also the jetlag to consider
Last edited by Anonymous User on Thu Jul 12, 2018 3:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 12, 2018 2:14 pm

I was literally in the same situation during my stub year so much so that I thought I had made this post and somebody had necro'ed it until I saw the date.

I didn't end up going and I should have. Aside from wasting 5 vacation days that didn't roll over, I did nothing in the office that week. Literally sat at my desk and online shopped. Nobody was even there.

Definitely go.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 12, 2018 2:38 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I was literally in the same situation during my stub year so much so that I thought I had made this post and somebody had necro'ed it until I saw the date.

I didn't end up going and I should have. Aside from wasting 5 vacation days that didn't roll over, I did nothing in the office that week. Literally sat at my desk and online shopped. Nobody was even there.

Definitely go.


Haha thats great. Do you happen to have a link to that thread? I'd be interested to see what advice you got.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Lacepiece23 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 2:47 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:I was literally in the same situation during my stub year so much so that I thought I had made this post and somebody had necro'ed it until I saw the date.

I didn't end up going and I should have. Aside from wasting 5 vacation days that didn't roll over, I did nothing in the office that week. Literally sat at my desk and online shopped. Nobody was even there.

Definitely go.


Haha thats great. Do you happen to have a link to that thread? I'd be interested to see what advice you got.


Likely some bad advice.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby BubbleTeaForMe » Thu Jul 12, 2018 3:08 pm

I'm surprised everyone is telling you to go. I was in a similar situation with a wedding in China and went, but I regret it.

At first it seemed completely fine, but when the week approached we wound up being pretty busy. No one told me I had to stay, but I got the sense from the partner and senior associate I was working with they weren't happy I wouldn't be there. I only took 3 weekdays off but I think it was perceived as 5 since I probably would have been expected to work through the weekend.

I ended up going, but was stressed out the entire time I was there waking up in the middle of the night to check for emails. In the end, I feel like I should have cancelled. I do think it was a bad look.

Then again, you might have no work that week and its a nonissue. It's definitely a risk.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 12, 2018 4:14 pm

December is the perfect time to go tbh, super slow. Judges don't like scheduling things around holidays, clients don't like doing deals around holidays.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:47 pm

Anonymous User wrote:December is the perfect time to go tbh, super slow. Judges don't like scheduling things around holidays, clients don't like doing deals around holidays.


I took almost no vacation my first year and it’s a mistake a lot of people make. Definitely go.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby LaLiLuLeLo » Thu Jul 12, 2018 9:19 pm

BubbleTeaForMe wrote:I'm surprised everyone is telling you to go. I was in a similar situation with a wedding in China and went, but I regret it.

At first it seemed completely fine, but when the week approached we wound up being pretty busy. No one told me I had to stay, but I got the sense from the partner and senior associate I was working with they weren't happy I wouldn't be there. I only took 3 weekdays off but I think it was perceived as 5 since I probably would have been expected to work through the weekend.

I ended up going, but was stressed out the entire time I was there waking up in the middle of the night to check for emails. In the end, I feel like I should have cancelled. I do think it was a bad look.

Then again, you might have no work that week and its a nonissue. It's definitely a risk.


There are always going to be people who get annoyed when you take vacation and the work will always be unpredictable. You have to just take your vacations and let the stress go.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby RaceJudicata » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:22 am

What you do as a stub really isn't that important. Be up front about it, and you'll be fine. Depending on what week in december it is, could be absolutely nothing going on. I was the loser who came to work the 3-4 days following christmas. Was only person in office.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:53 am

Don’t do it if you’re in an M&A based practice group. Common experience across a lot of firms for stubs is you sit around waiting for work for two months and then December is really busy as companies are trying to get deals signed and closed before the end of the year. If the first time it looks like work is coming in you’re out of the office that’ll be some Partners first true impression of you and not a great look.

Any other practice group and you’re fine. For instance Litigators do nothing that month. But yeah I’m in M&A and the head of our whole office told those of us starting in our group not to travel in December during our first week. If you’re actually in the wedding then well there’s nothing you can do and you have to go. Tell people right when you start. If you’re not, I’d skip it and tell your friend sorry.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby tinman » Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:59 am

I vote go. The question is for how long. If it’s in the second half of December I’d go for at least a week. If it’s earlier December it may be harder to escape.

Going all the way to India for a day or two sounds awful to me.

Also, consider stub year bonus. This time away could affect your ability to hit the hours. I’m a senior associate so I don’t know the economics for the stubs. But something also to weigh.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 13, 2018 9:18 am

Anonymous User wrote:Don’t do it if you’re in an M&A based practice group. Common experience across a lot of firms for stubs is you sit around waiting for work for two months and then December is really busy as companies are trying to get deals signed and closed before the end of the year. If the first time it looks like work is coming in you’re out of the office that’ll be some Partners first true impression of you and not a great look.

Any other practice group and you’re fine. For instance Litigators do nothing that month. But yeah I’m in M&A and the head of our whole office told those of us starting in our group not to travel in December during our first week. If you’re actually in the wedding then well there’s nothing you can do and you have to go. Tell people right when you start. If you’re not, I’d skip it and tell your friend sorry.


I don't agree. I was in M&A and took a week vacation to China in February of my first year and it was fine. It had been planned months in advance, so I gave everyone notice as soon as I was staffed on their deal. Some deals had timelines to sign/close when I was gone, so because I gave as much advance notice as possible they found another first year for those. As a result I was a bit slow leading up to and then after I got back, so I had to work harder the rest of the year to make up for the lost hours, but it was fine and I wasn't penalized for it at all. I say go. With this much advanced notice, you will be fine.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 13, 2018 9:26 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:Don’t do it if you’re in an M&A based practice group. Common experience across a lot of firms for stubs is you sit around waiting for work for two months and then December is really busy as companies are trying to get deals signed and closed before the end of the year. If the first time it looks like work is coming in you’re out of the office that’ll be some Partners first true impression of you and not a great look.

Any other practice group and you’re fine. For instance Litigators do nothing that month. But yeah I’m in M&A and the head of our whole office told those of us starting in our group not to travel in December during our first week. If you’re actually in the wedding then well there’s nothing you can do and you have to go. Tell people right when you start. If you’re not, I’d skip it and tell your friend sorry.


I don't agree. I was in M&A and took a week vacation to China in February of my first year and it was fine. It had been planned months in advance, so I gave everyone notice as soon as I was staffed on their deal. Some deals had timelines to sign/close when I was gone, so because I gave as much advance notice as possible they found another first year for those. As a result I was a bit slow leading up to and then after I got back, so I had to work harder the rest of the year to make up for the lost hours, but it was fine and I wasn't penalized for it at all. I say go. With this much advanced notice, you will be fine.

December is way crazier than February. Everyone in my group was really slammed in December. I mean the firm will survive but I can see it pissing people off.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 13, 2018 9:59 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:Don’t do it if you’re in an M&A based practice group. Common experience across a lot of firms for stubs is you sit around waiting for work for two months and then December is really busy as companies are trying to get deals signed and closed before the end of the year. If the first time it looks like work is coming in you’re out of the office that’ll be some Partners first true impression of you and not a great look.

Any other practice group and you’re fine. For instance Litigators do nothing that month. But yeah I’m in M&A and the head of our whole office told those of us starting in our group not to travel in December during our first week. If you’re actually in the wedding then well there’s nothing you can do and you have to go. Tell people right when you start. If you’re not, I’d skip it and tell your friend sorry.


I don't agree. I was in M&A and took a week vacation to China in February of my first year and it was fine. It had been planned months in advance, so I gave everyone notice as soon as I was staffed on their deal. Some deals had timelines to sign/close when I was gone, so because I gave as much advance notice as possible they found another first year for those. As a result I was a bit slow leading up to and then after I got back, so I had to work harder the rest of the year to make up for the lost hours, but it was fine and I wasn't penalized for it at all. I say go. With this much advanced notice, you will be fine.

December is way crazier than February. Everyone in my group was really slammed in December. I mean the firm will survive but I can see it pissing people off.


JFC what sweatshops do you work for? Never worked at a firm that made your life miserable for taking a long weekend, and I’ve been at 2 V5s my whole career, in PEMA. Just be upfront, find another first year you can direct any work to and offer to do the same when he/she wants to take a few days themselves, and get out of there. Any partner who is upset with that is a partner you don’t want to get tied to anyway. So consider it a blessing.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:17 am

Anonymous User wrote:JFC what sweatshops do you work for? Never worked at a firm that made your life miserable for taking a long weekend


It isn't just a long weekend. It's at least 3 workdays, and maybe more depending on jet lag and sickness. It could even be perceived as 5 days if you would have been expected to work on the weekend.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:43 am

Just ask for vacation days in advance and you’ll be fine. In December, most M&A deals go quiet because the clients are going on vacation. Some of the deals will go crazy because they need to be closed by year-end. If you ask for vacation days now, they will avoid staffing you on those deals.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:53 am

My opinion: it's not like they'd fire you if you went, but there is a chance that it will look bad and make your life more difficult when you get back. If you don't care and won't be stressed out about this, then go. Otherwise, don't go.

Also, do you plan to take time off for Christmas? That's something else to consider. It'll be difficult taking time off for Christmas after just having taken a week off to go to India.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:50 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:JFC what sweatshops do you work for? Never worked at a firm that made your life miserable for taking a long weekend


It isn't just a long weekend. It's at least 3 workdays, and maybe more depending on jet lag and sickness. It could even be perceived as 5 days if you would have been expected to work on the weekend.


You must work at DPW, with the staff checking you in and out of your office with a clipboard?

Also who plans extra days for jet lag? And what percentage of travelers to India get sick, that aren’t Brits on a gap year eating street food in Goa?

Honestly, just have a modafinil if the jet lag is that bad and stop worrying, it’s completely ridiculous.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:08 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Also who plans extra days for jet lag? And what percentage of travelers to India get sick, that aren’t Brits on a gap year eating street food in Goa?

Honestly, just have a modafinil if the jet lag is that bad and stop worrying, it’s completely ridiculous.


Yeah seriously, if you need extra days off work for potential sickness and jetlag, biglaw likely isn't for you. Will you need time off every time you have to pull a few all-nighters in a row?

Aside from that, I say just go. May cut it back to 2 weekdays off though if you can. And offer to be available remotely, but people will probably say don't worry about that and to enjoy yourself.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:14 pm

You should totally go and just give as much advance notice as possible. The more junior you are, the easier they can find someone else to fill in for you. There isn't anything that a first year is doing that another can't jump in and do, especially if you just tell people when you get staffed on deals "Sure, but BTW, I'm attending a best friend's wedding for a few days from X to Y". If not, they'll staff someone else. You just pay it back for whoever swaps in for you. Hopefully you're going to be working around people who won't give you shit about that. I also work in M&A - I agree it tends to get busy for December, but it also may not. It would stuck if you gave up on going but ended up twiddling your thumbs at your desk.

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Re: Good friend's getting married in India in December. Bad to take time off as a first year associate to go?

Postby trebekismyhero » Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:56 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Don’t do it if you’re in an M&A based practice group. Common experience across a lot of firms for stubs is you sit around waiting for work for two months and then December is really busy as companies are trying to get deals signed and closed before the end of the year. If the first time it looks like work is coming in you’re out of the office that’ll be some Partners first true impression of you and not a great look.

Any other practice group and you’re fine. For instance Litigators do nothing that month. But yeah I’m in M&A and the head of our whole office told those of us starting in our group not to travel in December during our first week. If you’re actually in the wedding then well there’s nothing you can do and you have to go. Tell people right when you start. If you’re not, I’d skip it and tell your friend sorry.


I agree that M&A is the only group where it could be an issue. But even then, it is still your stub year. As others have said, just be upfront about it and hit the ground running when you get back and ppl won't remember. If you're in any other group, it won't be an issue



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