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How to liquor

Post by Anonymous User » Thu May 25, 2017 4:01 am

How do i liquor in the office without getting caught? I'm in an open cube situation, and I'm situated in the middle, next to a person who is absolute, no pun intended, nark material. Everyone else is probably cool.

I need to drink at work to deal with life. Can I sneak and how? Please help

I have a cabinet in my cube that is lockable. I can arrive to work earlier than everyone, including Narkface.

Narkface likes to take a lot of breaks, so I can swig. Best breathmint recs. are relevant

B90

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Re: How to liquor

Post by B90 » Thu May 25, 2017 5:24 am

I read your second sentence as "I am open to an ice cube situation." Maybe try that.

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cavalier1138

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Re: How to liquor

Post by cavalier1138 » Thu May 25, 2017 6:25 am

On the off-chance that this isn't a troll: please find a good therapist.

lawhopeful100

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Re: How to liquor

Post by lawhopeful100 » Thu May 25, 2017 9:10 am

If this was real you would already know to bring vodka in a thermos.

Nebby

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Re: How to liquor

Post by Nebby » Thu May 25, 2017 9:30 am

Anonymous User wrote: I need to drink at work to deal with life. Can I sneak and how? Please help
You should seek professional help. This is not a sustainable lifestyle. There are probably resources on your city or state bar website.

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njdevils2626

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Re: How to liquor

Post by njdevils2626 » Thu May 25, 2017 10:29 am

lawhopeful100 wrote:If this was real you would already know to bring vodka in a thermos.

sadpandayolo

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Re: How to liquor

Post by sadpandayolo » Thu May 25, 2017 10:40 am

njdevils2626 wrote:
lawhopeful100 wrote:If this was real you would already know to bring vodka in a thermos.
This plus strong cologne or strong air freshener. You'll just be known as the person who smells like bath and body works, but it'll mask the liquor smell. Also, try to get not-so-strongly scented liquor, like vodka.

I like bourbon in my coffee too. Pretty good at masking the smell. bring a flask and pour it into your coffee from under the desk.

Lastly, get a fucking therapist.

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Re: How to liquor

Post by Anonymous User » Thu May 25, 2017 11:15 am

I had a very big problem with alcohol for awhile. It can sneak up on you fast, and if you really do need it to get through the day, it will likely get worse and worse. For me, it progressed from drinking to blackout/passout occasionally, to every weekend to every night. Additionally, I would drink on Saturday and Sunday mornings to the point of passing out in the morning only to repeat in the afternoon. I drank alone to escape it was terrible. I am sure I stank at work and everyone knew even if they didn't say anything. Its only now, after having been sober for over a year that I can clearly see how far gone my behavior had gone.

I'm not here to judge or tell you that you have a problem. But, if you feel like it may be an issue, I urge you to get help - it only gets tougher.

ballouttacontrol

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Re: How to liquor

Post by ballouttacontrol » Thu May 25, 2017 12:08 pm

dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.

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Anonymous User
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Re: How to liquor

Post by Anonymous User » Thu May 25, 2017 12:54 pm

I strongly suggest not drinking at work for numerous reasons. It will smell. You will smell. People will become suspicious and it could lead to employment problems. If you must drink at work you likely have a bigger problem on your hands than you realize.

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Re: How to liquor

Post by Nebby » Thu May 25, 2017 12:56 pm

ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?

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BenjarvusGreenEllis

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Re: How to liquor

Post by BenjarvusGreenEllis » Thu May 25, 2017 12:57 pm

Have a big bottle of hand sanitizer on desk and use is after drinking. People will see the bottle and make the association.

ballouttacontrol

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Re: How to liquor

Post by ballouttacontrol » Thu May 25, 2017 1:27 pm

Nebby wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life

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A. Nony Mouse

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Re: How to liquor

Post by A. Nony Mouse » Thu May 25, 2017 2:07 pm

ballouttacontrol wrote:
Nebby wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)

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TakeItToTrial

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Re: How to liquor

Post by TakeItToTrial » Thu May 25, 2017 2:41 pm

A. Nony Mouse wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:
Nebby wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
You must not drink Vodka.

Abbie Doobie

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Re: How to liquor

Post by Abbie Doobie » Thu May 25, 2017 2:49 pm

BenjarvusGreenEllis wrote:Have a big bottle of hand sanitizer on desk and use is after drinking. People will see the bottle and make the association.

instead, pour the vodka into the hand sanitizer and take shots right out of the hand sanitizer bottle in front of coworkers (including Narkface). that way you can get drunk AND let your coworkers/Narkface know that you are fuckin crazy and not to be fucked with

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MKC

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Re: How to liquor

Post by MKC » Thu May 25, 2017 2:49 pm

TakeItToTrial wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:
Nebby wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
You must not drink Vodka.
Or hand sanitizer.

That's the real answer OP. Nobody's going to think twice about the gallon jug of hand sanitizer on your desk.

ETA: FTR, I'm not suggesting OP fill the hand sanitizer jug with vodka.
Last edited by MKC on Sat Jan 27, 2018 3:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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TooMuchTuna

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Re: How to liquor

Post by TooMuchTuna » Thu May 25, 2017 3:13 pm

Instead of breath mints, have you thought about washing all that liquor down with Cheez-Its? I have heard that's a really good snack to eat constantly while in the office.

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A. Nony Mouse

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Re: How to liquor

Post by A. Nony Mouse » Thu May 25, 2017 3:18 pm

TakeItToTrial wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:
Nebby wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
You must not drink Vodka.
Are you saying that vodka smells like hand sanitizer, or that it doesn't smell like booze? Don't really agree with with either of these things, but I hate vodka. (I think mostly the idea that vodka doesn't smell like booze is a comforting fiction put forth by alcoholics.)

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TakeItToTrial

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Re: How to liquor

Post by TakeItToTrial » Thu May 25, 2017 3:18 pm

Personally, I would go with the intravenous vodka drip. You won't have to worry about the smell, and if you say it's for a medical condition, your co-workers will be reluctant to probe for fear of violating your right to privacy.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -life.html

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TakeItToTrial

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Re: How to liquor

Post by TakeItToTrial » Thu May 25, 2017 3:22 pm

A. Nony Mouse wrote:
TakeItToTrial wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:
Nebby wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
You must not drink Vodka.
Are you saying that vodka smells like hand sanitizer, or that it doesn't smell like booze? Don't really agree with with either of these things, but I hate vodka. (I think mostly the idea that vodka doesn't smell like booze is a comforting fiction put forth by alcoholics.)
Vodka smells very similar to hand sanitizer, especially if it's the cheap stuff.

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TakeItToTrial

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Re: How to liquor

Post by TakeItToTrial » Thu May 25, 2017 3:24 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:
TakeItToTrial wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:
Nebby wrote:
ballouttacontrol wrote:dark colored cup filled with ice, pour it under desk.
Really?
go get a fucking life
I mean that's not subtle at all. Booze doesn't smell less like booze when you pour it over ice. (It also doesn't smell like hand sanitizer unless you're drinking very different stuff than I do.)
You must not drink Vodka.
Are you saying that vodka smells like hand sanitizer, or that it doesn't smell like booze? Don't really agree with with either of these things, but I hate vodka. (I think mostly the idea that vodka doesn't smell like booze is a comforting fiction put forth by alcoholics.)
Vodka smells very similar to hand sanitizer, especially if it's the cheap stuff.
Oops, accidental anon.

rdawkins28

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Re: How to liquor

Post by rdawkins28 » Thu May 25, 2017 3:26 pm

Mint julep, creme de menth, irish coffee, bailey's, etc.

Start smoking so your suit is reeked with cigarette/cigar smell. Put vapor rub, ben-gay on your body. Fart a lot. Do whatever it takes so no one gets near you.

Alternatives to imbibing: alcohol suppositories, alcohol patches, alcohol enemas, and alcohol IVs.

Alternatives to alcohol: opium, crack, ice cream.

ballouttacontrol

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Re: How to liquor

Post by ballouttacontrol » Thu May 25, 2017 3:26 pm

idk about you guys but I pretty rarely talk to someone other than my friends in person in my own office. my friends wouldn't give a shit and half have had a few beers at lunch or on their desk in the afternoon, and for supervisors it's almost always on the phone or a meeting in their office so just pop in a piece of gum before you go

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kellyfrost

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Re: How to liquor

Post by kellyfrost » Thu May 25, 2017 3:32 pm

Spray Febreze on your chair.
Last edited by kellyfrost on Sat Jan 27, 2018 1:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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