Thank You for Your Kind Words, Everyone Forum

[Anonymous User]

So, a little history. About 5 years ago I was no-offered. I was devastated. Sad, and doubted literally everything about myself.

At my end of my summer associate position, I was told the analytical skills were "below" expectations. And, I was told by some partners and associates that I just couldn't "cut it" in private practice, whatever that meant.

So there I was, a 24 year old kid who felt his entire career crumbling before it even really started.

To be honest, I sunk into a pretty deep depression. And it did not help that I was surrounded by people in law school bragging about their offers and how they never have to worry about money again. One person even bragged on social media on how she needed advice on whether to leverage her offer to make her current firm "want her more" and pay her more than the starting rate. Ouch.

Fast forward 5 years. And many hours of self-reflection, self-improvement, and constant desire to better myself. I was recently informed that I have been selected by a local and highly respected bar magazine as one of the five "Upcoming Stars." I don't know why, really, but after I got off the phone with the representative, I just started crying.

My loved ones were very happy. My colleagues threw me a nice party. And the partner I work under currently took me aside said, "See, you're cut out for this." He very well knew about my former failure and no-offer. Again, I just started crying. And that caused him to start crying.

I will say that I encountered so many kind words and support on this thread. Even though we were strangers on an Internet forum, I felt there was a sense of empathy from those who believed in me, even when I had no confidence. So, I'll end with this: Thank you.

[esther0123]

Congratulations on your great success!

[EncyclopediaOrange]

Awesome, congrats!

[KMart]

Very well done for yourself. So happy to hear.

[Anonymous User]

Could you share a little about how you ended up where you are? Might be helpful for other people who get no-offered or strike out at OCI.

[kellyfrost]

This is awesome. Thank you so much for sharing.

The true test of the professional is to saddle up and ride out again after a tough loss.

You did just this and look where you are right now.

Best of luck in what's to come.

[existentialcrisis]

This is so awesome.

[Npret]

Thanks Anon.
Also thanks for posting to encourage others who might be in your shoes.
I teared up a little myself.

[Anonymous User]

Could you share a little about how you ended up where you are? Might be helpful for other people who get no-offered or strike out at OCI.

OP here.

At the outset, thank you for the additional words everyone

I'm an associate in a mid-sized firm in the same market as where I got no-offered. I handle litigation matters; a mix of general bus. lit. and insurance coverage.

I'm not sure if I can speak with any authority to others who were no-offered/struck out at OCI. But I will offer a few things that worked for me. Take them with a grain of salt.

1. Mentality. After the initial depression, get back to work. This arguably is the hardest. Trust me, I know. But strive (or at least fake it) to consistently ask yourself, "How do I become a better version of myself"? You're not getting anywhere by feeling the world is unfair, or that you're victim of harshness, etc. You don't need to be better than your peers. Hell, you don't even need to be better than the people who no-offered you, or passed you over at OCI. Strive to become the best version of yourself, and the results will eventually speak for themselves.

2. Practical Improvement. I purchased multiple legal writing books and read them cover to cover, which greatly improved my legal writing skills. To bolster my analytical skills, I started reading U.S. Supreme Court decisions and the legal commentary on them (Jeffrey Toobin writes good articles). For me, I needed to understand why partners/associates saw something in cases that I did not. So, I just picked this tactic because I would be forced to read dense decisions and have Toobin (or other commentators) help me understand the cases. This actually ended up helping to this day. I feel like I'm not only understanding cases better, but also see how the case may affect the client's issues.

3. Attitude. This is related to #1, but I feel like it deserves its own section. Let go of bitterness. Let go of any grudges you may feel like holding. Do not bad-mouth the firm that no-offered you, or the firms that pass you over. That comes off as petty and unprofessional. Maintain a positive outlook on life, and find happiness in things outside of your career. For example, my son just turned 6 months and that little sucker is one of the best things to happen me.

4. It is Okay to Ask for Help. I wouldn't be the person I am today without two key mentors. One I met in law school. He is a partner at another firm in the market. He was quite shocked when he learned about my situation. He then took me under his wing. He revealed to me his failures as an attorney over numerous lunches and coffees. The second mentor is the partner I currently work under. He is a highly respected litigator. He wasn't the one who interviewed me, so he had no idea that I had been no-offered. About 2 years ago, while returning from a deposition (we drove home together), I talked to him about it. He similarly revealed to me about his failures as an attorney. And said he "disagreed" with the earlier assessment: That I had great analytical ability. Inexperienced, yes. But not stupid. In addition to his kind words, he also devoted a substantial amount of time to improve my writing and discussed with me the implications of [x] case on our dispute.

If you have a relentless work ethic, positive mentality, and the pure grit to improve yourself, I believe you can overcome failures.

[Lovely Ludwig Van]

This is great to hear, man. Happy for you. Hope we can have more stories like this around here.

[UVA2B]

This is an awesome story, and congratulations on not letting that one setback deter you from finding success! That determination to succeed and remaining grounded is a testament to character, and it's really noble. Good luck into the future, although it sounds like you're already set up for continued success.

[elendinel]

Fantastic news. Congrats on the accomplishment!

[Anonymous Defender]

Could you share a little about how you ended up where you are? Might be helpful for other people who get no-offered or strike out at OCI.

OP here.

At the outset, thank you for the additional words everyone

I'm an associate in a mid-sized firm in the same market as where I got no-offered. I handle litigation matters; a mix of general bus. lit. and insurance coverage.

I'm not sure if I can speak with any authority to others who were no-offered/struck out at OCI. But I will offer a few things that worked for me. Take them with a grain of salt.

1. Mentality. After the initial depression, get back to work. This arguably is the hardest. Trust me, I know. But strive (or at least fake it) to consistently ask yourself, "How do I become a better version of myself"? You're not getting anywhere by feeling the world is unfair, or that you're victim of harshness, etc. You don't need to be better than your peers. Hell, you don't even need to be better than the people who no-offered you, or passed you over at OCI. Strive to become the best version of yourself, and the results will eventually speak for themselves.

2. Practical Improvement. I purchased multiple legal writing books and read them cover to cover, which greatly improved my legal writing skills. To bolster my analytical skills, I started reading U.S. Supreme Court decisions and the legal commentary on them (Jeffrey Toobin writes good articles). For me, I needed to understand why partners/associates saw something in cases that I did not. So, I just picked this tactic because I would be forced to read dense decisions and have Toobin (or other commentators) help me understand the cases. This actually ended up helping to this day. I feel like I'm not only understanding cases better, but also see how the case may affect the client's issues.

3. Attitude. This is related to #1, but I feel like it deserves its own section. Let go of bitterness. Let go of any grudges you may feel like holding. Do not bad-mouth the firm that no-offered you, or the firms that pass you over. That comes off as petty and unprofessional. Maintain a positive outlook on life, and find happiness in things outside of your career. For example, my son just turned 6 months and that little sucker is one of the best things to happen me.

4. It is Okay to Ask for Help. I wouldn't be the person I am today without two key mentors. One I met in law school. He is a partner at another firm in the market. He was quite shocked when he learned about my situation. He then took me under his wing. He revealed to me his failures as an attorney over numerous lunches and coffees. The second mentor is the partner I currently work under. He is a highly respected litigator. He wasn't the one who interviewed me, so he had no idea that I had been no-offered. About 2 years ago, while returning from a deposition (we drove home together), I talked to him about it. He similarly revealed to me about his failures as an attorney. And said he "disagreed" with the earlier assessment: That I had great analytical ability. Inexperienced, yes. But not stupid. In addition to his kind words, he also devoted a substantial amount of time to improve my writing and discussed with me the implications of [x] case on our dispute.

If you have a relentless work ethic, positive mentality, and the pure grit to improve yourself, I believe you can overcome failures.

This is an awesome story! Arguably a great example of post-traumatic growth. I am super glad you shared. I will certainly share with others. As a very successful man once said, (I think Walt Disney) it is best to fail big at least once when you are young. Those that have everything spoonfed to them have no wisdom.

[Bluem_11]

I expected this post to be dripping with sarcasm but was pleasantly surprised.

[chicharon]

Congratulations! And thank you for sharing your amazing story. It's very inspiring.

[glitched]

This is so awesome.

[smallfirmassociate]

Really cool post.

[fearless16]

Congratulations and thanks for the fantastic tips! Appreciate you paying it forward.

[Anonymous User]

Lovely to hear. I don't know you but I'm happy for you.