Personal Statement Samples Forum

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by alwayssunnyinfl » Mon Sep 03, 2012 10:47 am

Pear alt.

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by BlueJeanBaby » Mon Sep 03, 2012 8:46 pm

.

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Cobretti

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by Cobretti » Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:48 am

AndrewCraig wrote: “I need you to promise me something and you can’t tell anyone in the whole world.”
I nodded solemnly.
“Promise me you’ll always be a knight and that you’ll always believe in magic and dragons and evil wizards.”
So much for that promise. How could a law school possibly admit someone that doesn't keep their promises?

Other than that, great ps

thederangedwang

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by thederangedwang » Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:42 pm

mrizza wrote:
AndrewCraig wrote: “I need you to promise me something and you can’t tell anyone in the whole world.”
I nodded solemnly.
“Promise me you’ll always be a knight and that you’ll always believe in magic and dragons and evil wizards.”
So much for that promise. How could a law school possibly admit someone that doesn't keep their promises?

Other than that, great ps
i pray youre being sarcastic

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Mr.Binks

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by Mr.Binks » Tue Sep 11, 2012 10:04 pm

AndrewCraig wrote:Her rumpled rainbow socks winked at me through the window; I winked back. She smiled slyly and I waited for the castle drawbridge to lower. I was a gallant knight storming the castle walls and she a scrappy maiden awaiting rescue. Two wooden boards flopped onto the ground and I bravely stuck my toe out over the deadly moat. A small minnow stared up at me, a reminder of the dangers lurking in the deep. I collected my courage and hurried onward. Who knew what terrors lay ahead? With my cardboard sword, I fought through spider-web traps and invisible guards, I slayed a medium-sized dragon and a rather wimpy troll. I reached the stairway short a few fingers, but with high morale. I had forgotten my map, so I hoped this was the right room. I charged up the stairs and burst through the door to find her sitting cross-legged on the floor.
Persis Pennington had wild green eyes and red hair that grew like a tangled shrub from her small round head. A toothy grin lit up her face when she saw me and she motioned for me to sit down. I sheathed my sword and removed the over-sized cooking pot from my head. She gave me a serious look and said in a whisper,
“I need you to promise me something and you can’t tell anyone in the whole world.”
I nodded solemnly.
“Promise me you’ll always be a knight and that you’ll always believe in magic and dragons and evil wizards.”
I looked up into her fierce green eyes; imagination and belief lit up her features. Several strands of her fiery red hair had fallen across her face and moved a little as a breeze flew in the open tower window.
“The warlock will be here soon,” I whispered back.
“Promise me. You have to promise me.”

She lived in a world of pure imagination. In that grove of oak trees, just beyond Sander’s creek, over the tall green hedge and through the prickly thicket, anything was possible.

My rumpled rainbow socks poke out from beneath a blanket as I lay on a couch in a room far away from castles and dragons. They are worn and faded and do not wink much anymore; instead they wear a sad smile. They remember that once, many years ago a fair maiden waited for a knight who never stormed through the castle gates to save her. He had grown to old to see the castle walls and to cross the deadly moat. He packed his things into boxes and moved away. His mother cleaned out his room and threw away his sword and placed his helmet back on the shelf.

I am no longer a knight; I am not brave or dashing. Sometimes I wish I had made a promise to a fiery maiden in a cardboard castle at the top of a tower.
What the fuck did I just read?

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WhiskeynCoke

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by WhiskeynCoke » Thu Sep 27, 2012 10:35 pm

You had me at "rumpled rainbow socks"

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bosmer88

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by bosmer88 » Tue Oct 16, 2012 1:22 am

It sounds like a script for an episode of Adventure Time.

csexton182

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by csexton182 » Sat Oct 20, 2012 10:48 am

3.8 GPA
161 LSAT
NON-URM

This is a pretty rough draft. Please let me know what you think. I would prefer some constructive criticism. I'll be applying in about 2 weeks. Thanks guys.

I woke up with a pounding headache and the lights intensifying the throbbing. Everyone around me was looking at me as I was completely disoriented. I saw dried up blood on my chest and tasted the sweat that was pouring off my face. Looking up, all I heard was “_______, you need to keep your chin down and stop crossing your feet!” without the slightest clue who had said it. In the ring with a golden gloves boxer, I had been stung by a strong right uppercut followed by a left hook that he delivered to me just moments ago, knocking me out in the process.
After that incident I was completely disheartened, fearful to step in the ring again. For weeks after that, I did everything in my power to avoid experiencing that again which comprised of endless shadow boxing with a tennis ball under my chin, bobbing and weaving exercises, and footwork drills.
After training for weeks, I mustered up the courage to get back in the ring with the same fighter. From bell to bell, all three rounds, I held my ground. I caught him with a strong one-two that put him on the canvas. I was bloodied up by the end, but I was on my feet and proud to have pushed through it. I had lost that fight, this time by decision, but was proud of myself for the effort I had put forth. To me, it wasn’t all about the win; I wanted to show myself that I could persist when forced to sink or swim. To this day, I am still in the gym day in and day out, with the intentions to better myself.
I grew up in a Philadelphia suburb living with my mother, and my father lived just down the street. We weren’t particularly wealthy, but we were thankful and quite content with what we had. As an adolescent, I was rarely given what I wanted. My parents made me work for everything and, for that lesson; I am forever indebted to them. Friends of mine would always tell me, “______, your parents are so hard on you”, and they were completely right. They were hard on me, they were mean at times, but they developed a man, they developed who I am today and for that, I am grateful.
Until I began college, I had relatively little regard for grades. While employed at a restaurant in high school, I had realized that I didn’t want to become like my co-workers, who had dropped out of school because they had little regard for their education. As I was departing for college in Florida they would fool around, saying things like “See you in a few weeks back here”. Except for my own parents, nobody truly believed I would be where I am today. It was especially hard for myself to do so, because I had never really thought of myself as intelligent. I was confused, unsure of what I was going to do simply because I had never really applied myself to the best of my ability or proved I was capable of such a thing. I wanted to be a successful and prosperous individual, but was uncertain on how to do so.
The day my parents left me at the train station, leaving for college, they told me something I would not forget. Standing on the platform they told me, “________, we’ve never been on you about your grades not because we don’t want to see you succeed, but more importantly, we want you to have your own desire to succeed.” All my life they have been granting me the autonomy to decide for myself what it is I want to do and have supported me whole-heartedly in whatever that was. Now was my opportunity to fulfill my goals and their desires simultaneously. Of course, there have been hardships and there have been failures, but it is now I realize that these have acted as stepping-stones to my success.
Beginning my first semester of college, I was terrified of what was to come. Like stepping into the boxing ring again, I knew this was a fresh start and an opportunity to prove my success to everyone and more importantly, to prove it to myself. I adapted well and, after my first year of college, I even sent a copy of my transcripts to my previous place of employment and they were awestruck. Though it seems relatively small, it was a huge accomplishment to me. I knew I had found my true self.
While in college, I have always had a job to help me finance necessities for myself. On top of being a full time student, I work 25-30 hours a week in order to pay for my basic needs. Though this is quite difficult to juggle with schoolwork, it has made me appreciate things much more. It’s much more rewarding to know that I have pushed myself that much harder and still made the grades.
Through my experiences, I feel I possess the perseverance, maturity, and ability to overcome any obstacle that is placed in front of me, and I feel that law school will provide a promising career ahead of me while also fulfilling my need of an admirable challenge. More than anything, I look forward to the difficult task that waits and the chance to prove to myself, once again, that I can push through it. I take pride in my hard work, and my ambition to succeed. Although, there is more than just making grades and hard work that have helped shape my character. I have proven to myself that even with the odds against you, even if at first you don’t believe in yourself, you can still push through and become successful in life. I have come to realize that it is not the grades, the accomplishments, or the goals I have conquered, but it is instead myself that I have conquered. Exemplary of my character, these attributes equip me with the necessary skills, desire, and commitment to succeed in law school.

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Personal Statement Samples - PLEASE HELP!

Post by misstrouble » Thu Nov 01, 2012 3:44 pm

Hey guys,

I am so belated in discovering this site. I am very new to law school ideas, and I would appreciate any feedback I can get on my personal statement. Here goes...


“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Mahatma Gandhi

My leitmotif is independence, adaptability, and curiosity. My childhood was spent travelling between Mother Russia ,Germany, Texas, Finland, and Canada. My family never had a home; I can’t remember even staying in one apartment for more than two years. We were poor. I remember hating being poor – to this day I cannot bring myself to ask for prices at a store because it gives me an unhappy vision of my mother haggling as I cringed in humiliation. Poor also meant that my mother worked every evening and I helped raise my much younger siblings. I experienced the maternal role when other kids my age were not left alone without a babysitter. My parents just told me not to answer the phone or the door while we were home alone. Through raising the little ones, I learned that I was strong and did not need help from others.

I experienced no untoward surprises when I moved out at the age of 17. I had every experience necessary to take care of myself, I had enough money for my first and last, and I got a minimum wage job. I read, I wrote, I went to school, I worked – of course, I hardly slept, but you can’t find time for everything. I learned how to be an adult, and how to fit in with any social group despite my age. I earned a degree, I made friends, I bought the things I liked. Through this experience, I learned that I am independent and adaptable.

My choice for my first degree was directly linked to my curiosity. Despite many interesting things in the world, nothing is as naturally interesting as the human body. I think this is because everybody has one to take an interest in. This is why I became a nurse, and I specialized in emergencies for the same reason. I found it surprising how many negotiations a nurse has to deal with in the span of one day. People requesting services want more than you can give, and when you request services of people in management, they don’t want to give them to you. It is a maze to negotiate, and if you don’t keep a clear, concise, and logical argument in your pocket, then you are lost. While serving others in this role, I learned of my desire to study law.

I am an excellent candidate for law studies for a variety of reasons. I love to read and conduct research, and I am curious. I am detail oriented, as evidenced by my ability to succeed living the adult life at a young age and my success as a critical care provider. I have experience with different cultures and walks of life from my childhood; I understand diversity. I have learned how to emphasize with people while nursing and seeing them at the worst moments of their lives. Most importantly, I am very curious about law studies, and I have the tenacity of a pitbull.

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xdskyline

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by xdskyline » Thu Nov 08, 2012 4:46 am

AndrewCraig wrote:Her rumpled rainbow socks winked at me through the window; I winked back. She smiled slyly and I waited for the castle drawbridge to lower. I was a gallant knight storming the castle walls and she a scrappy maiden awaiting rescue. Two wooden boards flopped onto the ground and I bravely stuck my toe out over the deadly moat. A small minnow stared up at me, a reminder of the dangers lurking in the deep. I collected my courage and hurried onward. Who knew what terrors lay ahead? With my cardboard sword, I fought through spider-web traps and invisible guards, I slayed a medium-sized dragon and a rather wimpy troll. I reached the stairway short a few fingers, but with high morale. I had forgotten my map, so I hoped this was the right room. I charged up the stairs and burst through the door to find her sitting cross-legged on the floor.
Persis Pennington had wild green eyes and red hair that grew like a tangled shrub from her small round head. A toothy grin lit up her face when she saw me and she motioned for me to sit down. I sheathed my sword and removed the over-sized cooking pot from my head. She gave me a serious look and said in a whisper,
“I need you to promise me something and you can’t tell anyone in the whole world.”
I nodded solemnly.
“Promise me you’ll always be a knight and that you’ll always believe in magic and dragons and evil wizards.”
I looked up into her fierce green eyes; imagination and belief lit up her features. Several strands of her fiery red hair had fallen across her face and moved a little as a breeze flew in the open tower window.
“The warlock will be here soon,” I whispered back.
“Promise me. You have to promise me.”

She lived in a world of pure imagination. In that grove of oak trees, just beyond Sander’s creek, over the tall green hedge and through the prickly thicket, anything was possible.

My rumpled rainbow socks poke out from beneath a blanket as I lay on a couch in a room far away from castles and dragons. They are worn and faded and do not wink much anymore; instead they wear a sad smile. They remember that once, many years ago a fair maiden waited for a knight who never stormed through the castle gates to save her. He had grown to old to see the castle walls and to cross the deadly moat. He packed his things into boxes and moved away. His mother cleaned out his room and threw away his sword and placed his helmet back on the shelf.

I am no longer a knight; I am not brave or dashing. Sometimes I wish I had made a promise to a fiery maiden in a cardboard castle at the top of a tower.

This is actually really beautiful, if unorthodox. Hopefully the adcomm is cool with it.

evaus

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by evaus » Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:53 am

Any advice or criticism would be greatly appreciated! also, I'd be happy to swap with anyone if you'd rather do it that way.

Personal Statement

I take from the poor to give to the rich.

Being young and living in New York City nearly always requires compromise: consider the actor/waiter, the poet/barista, or the comedian/tour-bus guide. And then consider me, the reverse Robin Hood.

At first I struggled with the moral implications of my work as paralegal for a bankruptcy trustee. Hundreds of times a month, I sit with my boss while he takes debtors’ testimony. For weeks afterward, I scour that testimony, pore over financial records, rummage through storage units, dog-ear a Kelley Blue Book, and keep a running dialogue with my auctioneer, all to take assets from someone already bankrupt.

Knowing I was a small part of a huge system did not ease my conscience, but after a few months I had an experience that did. My boss demanded that a debtor turn an $8,000 tax refund over to his creditors, and a week later the man’s wife died suddenly at 43. Days later, the debtor called me to give an account of the funeral expenses and plead for leniency. I conveyed this to my boss, who sat back in his chair and sighed. “The guy is getting a pass on six figures of debt,” he said, “and he owes the refund to his creditors. But I feel bad for him. What should I do?”

This was above my pay grade, but I ventured my opinion nonetheless.

That afternoon I got to call the man to offer my condolences and tell him we were closing his case. By sharing with me the decision he would have made anyway, my boss gave me a glimpse of the law’s humanity, and I began to understand bankruptcy as a means of freeing, not oppressing, those crushed by debt.

The experience reminded me of my first encounter with a lawyer. At age eleven, I sat with my little sister in a drab, threadbare lobby in our small town. On the other side of a closed door my dad, forced by his deteriorating health to give up his livelihood, met with a lawyer who helped him pro bono to apply for disability benefits. Thanks to the lawyer’s efforts my dad’s application was approved on his first submission. In the years to come my family endured plenty of financial hardship. I remember my mom buying me a winter coat several sizes too large, not knowing when she could again set aside money for a new one. At the outset, however, we were spared months of destitution by a lawyer who saw our need and volunteered to help.

I know these vignettes do not reflect the daily life of most lawyers. I have worked 100-hour weeks on mind-numbing, eye-straining discovery projects; filed hundreds of motions based on the same never-changing templates; and even trekked from the Upper East Side of Manhattan to Brooklyn on foot to assist my boss in court the day after Hurricane Sandy. Being a lawyer is rarely easy or glamorous, but two-and-a-half years at a large New York City law firm has not deterred me because the daily grind of legal work itself draws me to law school. Here is a field where I can earn an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work, and occasionally help someone out in the process.

I enjoy working hard, having grown up on a small farm, earned a competitive scholarship to college, and worked thirty hours a week as a stockbroker to finance my studies. My parents were the first in their families to go to college, and I hope to be the first in either family to earn a graduate degree.

After the rural poverty of my childhood, having already established a life and a career in New York City, I am not content to settle. Instead I press on in hope not only of one day giving my own children a better life, but of making the choice my boss made to help a grieving widower, or that a small-town lawyer made to help my family fallen on hard times. At the bar the lofty ideals of Law, Justice, and the Common Good collide with our chaotic world, and that intersection is where I want to spend my professional life.

ghostowl

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by ghostowl » Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:02 am

I'm about to complete my final draft in a few hours. Can I message some people and have them rate it?

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bluepenguin

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by bluepenguin » Wed Dec 05, 2012 2:01 pm

Sure

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by ghostowl » Sat Dec 08, 2012 3:56 am

nvm

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by morgenski » Tue Dec 11, 2012 3:37 am

Hello!
I would really appreciate swapping with someone as I am really stuck and could use some criticism. I need to figure out how to make my ps stronger. And am happy of course to return the favor!

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wtrc

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Re: Personal Statement Samples - PLEASE HELP!

Post by wtrc » Mon Dec 17, 2012 3:50 pm

misstrouble wrote:Hey guys,

I am so belated in discovering this site. I am very new to law school ideas, and I would appreciate any feedback I can get on my personal statement. Here goes...


“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Mahatma Gandhi

My leitmotif is independence, adaptability, and curiosity. My childhood was spent travelling between Mother Russia ,Germany, Texas, Finland, and Canada. My family never had a home; I can’t remember even staying in one apartment for more than two years. We were poor.
I haven't applied yet, and please correct me, y'all. But I've heard from many that have that you should be wary of starting your PS with a quote.

rigs321

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by rigs321 » Fri Dec 28, 2012 3:14 pm

I see a lot of PS that don't mention specific schools, how important is this really? I just can't find a good way to fit it in so wondering how hard I should try or if it's not super important...

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bettercallsaul91

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by bettercallsaul91 » Sat Jan 19, 2013 10:26 pm

evaus wrote:Any advice or criticism would be greatly appreciated! also, I'd be happy to swap with anyone if you'd rather do it that way.

Personal Statement

I take from the poor to give to the rich.

Being young and living in New York City nearly always requires compromise: consider the actor/waiter, the poet/barista, or the comedian/tour-bus guide. And then consider me, the reverse Robin Hood.

At first I struggled with the moral implications of my work as paralegal for a bankruptcy trustee. Hundreds of times a month, I sit with my boss while he takes debtors’ testimony. For weeks afterward, I scour that testimony, pore over financial records, rummage through storage units, dog-ear a Kelley Blue Book, and keep a running dialogue with my auctioneer, all to take assets from someone already bankrupt.

Knowing I was a small part of a huge system did not ease my conscience, but after a few months I had an experience that did. My boss demanded that a debtor turn an $8,000 tax refund over to his creditors, and a week later the man’s wife died suddenly at 43. Days later, the debtor called me to give an account of the funeral expenses and plead for leniency. I conveyed this to my boss, who sat back in his chair and sighed. “The guy is getting a pass on six figures of debt,” he said, “and he owes the refund to his creditors. But I feel bad for him. What should I do?”

This was above my pay grade, but I ventured my opinion nonetheless.

That afternoon I got to call the man to offer my condolences and tell him we were closing his case. By sharing with me the decision he would have made anyway, my boss gave me a glimpse of the law’s humanity, and I began to understand bankruptcy as a means of freeing, not oppressing, those crushed by debt.

The experience reminded me of my first encounter with a lawyer. At age eleven, I sat with my little sister in a drab, threadbare lobby in our small town. On the other side of a closed door my dad, forced by his deteriorating health to give up his livelihood, met with a lawyer who helped him pro bono to apply for disability benefits. Thanks to the lawyer’s efforts my dad’s application was approved on his first submission. In the years to come my family endured plenty of financial hardship. I remember my mom buying me a winter coat several sizes too large, not knowing when she could again set aside money for a new one. At the outset, however, we were spared months of destitution by a lawyer who saw our need and volunteered to help.

I know these vignettes do not reflect the daily life of most lawyers. I have worked 100-hour weeks on mind-numbing, eye-straining discovery projects; filed hundreds of motions based on the same never-changing templates; and even trekked from the Upper East Side of Manhattan to Brooklyn on foot to assist my boss in court the day after Hurricane Sandy. Being a lawyer is rarely easy or glamorous, but two-and-a-half years at a large New York City law firm has not deterred me because the daily grind of legal work itself draws me to law school. Here is a field where I can earn an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work, and occasionally help someone out in the process.

I enjoy working hard, having grown up on a small farm, earned a competitive scholarship to college, and worked thirty hours a week as a stockbroker to finance my studies. My parents were the first in their families to go to college, and I hope to be the first in either family to earn a graduate degree.

After the rural poverty of my childhood, having already established a life and a career in New York City, I am not content to settle. Instead I press on in hope not only of one day giving my own children a better life, but of making the choice my boss made to help a grieving widower, or that a small-town lawyer made to help my family fallen on hard times. At the bar the lofty ideals of Law, Justice, and the Common Good collide with our chaotic world, and that intersection is where I want to spend my professional life.
I thought it was great.

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CJ007

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by CJ007 » Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:25 am

evaus wrote:Any advice or criticism would be greatly appreciated! also, I'd be happy to swap with anyone if you'd rather do it that way.

Personal Statement

I take from the poor to give to the rich.

Being young and living in New York City nearly always requires compromise: consider the actor/waiter, the poet/barista, or the comedian/tour-bus guide. And then consider me, the reverse Robin Hood.

At first I struggled with the moral implications of my work as paralegal for a bankruptcy trustee. Hundreds of times a month, I sit with my boss while he takes debtors’ testimony. For weeks afterward, I scour that testimony, pore over financial records, rummage through storage units, dog-ear a Kelley Blue Book, and keep a running dialogue with my auctioneer, all to take assets from someone already bankrupt.

Knowing I was a small part of a huge system did not ease my conscience, but after a few months I had an experience that did. My boss demanded that a debtor turn an $8,000 tax refund over to his creditors, and a week later the man’s wife died suddenly at 43. Days later, the debtor called me to give an account of the funeral expenses and plead for leniency. I conveyed this to my boss, who sat back in his chair and sighed. “The guy is getting a pass on six figures of debt,” he said, “and he owes the refund to his creditors. But I feel bad for him. What should I do?”

This was above my pay grade, but I ventured my opinion nonetheless.

That afternoon I got to call the man to offer my condolences and tell him we were closing his case. By sharing with me the decision he would have made anyway, my boss gave me a glimpse of the law’s humanity, and I began to understand bankruptcy as a means of freeing, not oppressing, those crushed by debt.

The experience reminded me of my first encounter with a lawyer. At age eleven, I sat with my little sister in a drab, threadbare lobby in our small town. On the other side of a closed door my dad, forced by his deteriorating health to give up his livelihood, met with a lawyer who helped him pro bono to apply for disability benefits. Thanks to the lawyer’s efforts my dad’s application was approved on his first submission. In the years to come my family endured plenty of financial hardship. I remember my mom buying me a winter coat several sizes too large, not knowing when she could again set aside money for a new one. At the outset, however, we were spared months of destitution by a lawyer who saw our need and volunteered to help.

I know these vignettes do not reflect the daily life of most lawyers. I have worked 100-hour weeks on mind-numbing, eye-straining discovery projects; filed hundreds of motions based on the same never-changing templates; and even trekked from the Upper East Side of Manhattan to Brooklyn on foot to assist my boss in court the day after Hurricane Sandy. Being a lawyer is rarely easy or glamorous, but two-and-a-half years at a large New York City law firm has not deterred me because the daily grind of legal work itself draws me to law school. Here is a field where I can earn an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work, and occasionally help someone out in the process.

I enjoy working hard, having grown up on a small farm, earned a competitive scholarship to college, and worked thirty hours a week as a stockbroker to finance my studies. My parents were the first in their families to go to college, and I hope to be the first in either family to earn a graduate degree.

After the rural poverty of my childhood, having already established a life and a career in New York City, I am not content to settle. Instead I press on in hope not only of one day giving my own children a better life, but of making the choice my boss made to help a grieving widower, or that a small-town lawyer made to help my family fallen on hard times. At the bar the lofty ideals of Law, Justice, and the Common Good collide with our chaotic world, and that intersection is where I want to spend my professional life.
I've read the book 55 Successful Harvard Law School Application Essays and this PS was just as sharp, witty, and compelling as any one of those in the book. Outstanding hook - clear theme - coherent - gives specific examples - and personable. Great job - kudos!

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jas1503

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by jas1503 » Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:01 pm

Mr.Binks wrote:
AndrewCraig wrote:Her rumpled rainbow socks winked at me through the window; I winked back. She smiled slyly and I waited for the castle drawbridge to lower. I was a gallant knight storming the castle walls and she a scrappy maiden awaiting rescue. Two wooden boards flopped onto the ground and I bravely stuck my toe out over the deadly moat. A small minnow stared up at me, a reminder of the dangers lurking in the deep. I collected my courage and hurried onward. Who knew what terrors lay ahead? With my cardboard sword, I fought through spider-web traps and invisible guards, I slayed a medium-sized dragon and a rather wimpy troll. I reached the stairway short a few fingers, but with high morale. I had forgotten my map, so I hoped this was the right room. I charged up the stairs and burst through the door to find her sitting cross-legged on the floor.
Persis Pennington had wild green eyes and red hair that grew like a tangled shrub from her small round head. A toothy grin lit up her face when she saw me and she motioned for me to sit down. I sheathed my sword and removed the over-sized cooking pot from my head. She gave me a serious look and said in a whisper,
“I need you to promise me something and you can’t tell anyone in the whole world.”
I nodded solemnly.
“Promise me you’ll always be a knight and that you’ll always believe in magic and dragons and evil wizards.”
I looked up into her fierce green eyes; imagination and belief lit up her features. Several strands of her fiery red hair had fallen across her face and moved a little as a breeze flew in the open tower window.
“The warlock will be here soon,” I whispered back.
“Promise me. You have to promise me.”

She lived in a world of pure imagination. In that grove of oak trees, just beyond Sander’s creek, over the tall green hedge and through the prickly thicket, anything was possible.

My rumpled rainbow socks poke out from beneath a blanket as I lay on a couch in a room far away from castles and dragons. They are worn and faded and do not wink much anymore; instead they wear a sad smile. They remember that once, many years ago a fair maiden waited for a knight who never stormed through the castle gates to save her. He had grown to old to see the castle walls and to cross the deadly moat. He packed his things into boxes and moved away. His mother cleaned out his room and threw away his sword and placed his helmet back on the shelf.

I am no longer a knight; I am not brave or dashing. Sometimes I wish I had made a promise to a fiery maiden in a cardboard castle at the top of a tower.
What the fuck did I just read?
This is what happens when WoW becomes your job.

donnabert

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by donnabert » Fri May 10, 2013 3:38 am

bosmer88 wrote:It sounds like a script for an episode of Adventure Time.


Nice.

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donnabert

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by donnabert » Fri May 10, 2013 4:08 am

Attended Seattle University School of Law
“Psychopaths with charm are criminals, psychopaths without charm are lawyers.” -me
Last edited by donnabert on Fri Aug 12, 2016 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

socalvin

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by socalvin » Sun Jun 09, 2013 11:03 pm

donnabert wrote:GPA 3.6
LSAT 156
Attended Seattle University School of Law
“Psychopaths with charm are criminals, psychopaths without charm are lawyers.” -me

(essay below, but first) I only applied to Seattle U, and got in. It was the worst school experience I have ever had. Although I graduated, I did it on my own. The teachers and staff are the laziest people I have ever met on earth. No wonder they went from number 20 to 102 on US News and World.

Imagine your whole grade is based on one test at the end. Imagine getting a C even though you worked your butt off. Imagine going to look at your exam and finding NOT ONE SINGLE MARKING ON THE ENTIRE THING. It has been printed out since you took it on a laptop, but you can't even tell anyone has touched it. You can't tell what you did right or wrong. Imagine contacting the instructor (I refuse to use the word professor, because really they aren't) and asking to talk to him/her about your paper so you can find out what you did wrong. Imagine they 1. ignore you altogether (Henke), 2. tell you there is no way they are meeting with you because then they have to meet with EVERYONE (DeLong), or 3. you set up a meeting and in the meeting they tell you they are not going to go over your test, but that you should some buy some $30 book instead (Getting to Maybe) and you do buy it and read it, and instead of a C on your next final, you get a C- (Ainsworth).

I started the first Criminal Justice Society at the school and was the president for two years and the school hated me for it for some reason. I started something called the Murder 101 Project so that students could work on real-life murder cases with local attorneys, and they about crapped themselves over the concept/name even though the local attorneys loved it. If an attorney wanted to give our club a donation the school would not allow it, the money had to come to the school and then they could give it to whomever they wished (themselves I'm sure).

Anyway, every lawyer I have met since graduation has been a bigger nightmare than the one before (greedy, homophobic/racist/classist, dumb, lazy, cheaters). Imagine you graduate law school and your first job out your boss (at a single lawyer criminal defense firm) wants you call a few people and them to sell 1. Their father’s watch they inherited when the father died, and 2. Their truck, so that they could pay the attorney. Things went DOWNHILL from there. Even the friends I made at law school I cannot stand to be around anymore. Even my best friend who I worked with so we could both get in (she graduated first) I can't stand (she's working for banks in bankruptcies against poor people - way to go Hilary!).

Anyway, I’m doing tech support now because my husband begged me not to law anymore because it was depressing me to the point of almost no return. I love the people I work with, which I found out is more important than what I do.

So here’s my essay, sad as it seems after this whole law debacle. I now have a saying, “Psychopaths with charm are criminals, psychopaths without charm are lawyers.”
Fascinating insights.

GoIggles

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by GoIggles » Tue Aug 27, 2013 10:43 am

It was just about this time last year that I began to put real effort into my personal statement. So, for those of you who find yourselves at the PS writing stage now, I hope this helps. I know this thread was a great resource for me while I was writing.

GPA: ~3.95
LSAT: ~175
Admissions Decisions: In everywhere I applied

This is a story about stories. It’s a story about my grandfather, a master storyteller, and me, his apprentice. It’s a story about the last and most important lesson he taught me—a lesson not about how to tell good stories, but about the good that telling stories can do.

My apprenticeship began just moments after I was born. As my mother tells it, my grandfather plucked me from her tired arms in the delivery room and immediately commenced my first tutorial: cradling me in his left arm, his right keeping time with the rhythm of his tale, my grandfather charmed the medical staff with the story of how I came to be named [name]. Over the years that followed, I spent hours taking mental notes as I watched similar scenes unfold. Neighbors we ran into at the grocery store, waiters taking our order at restaurants, friends who came over to play—all of them were audience members as far as my grandfather was concerned. And no one ever walked away from one of his performances disappointed, least of all me.

As I entered college nearly two decades later, I thought my apprenticeship had come to an end. I was no longer the small child sitting spellbound at the foot of my grandfather’s rocking chair, no longer the gawky teenager asking for advice as I wrote stories for my school newspaper. By then, I had grown into someone with whom my grandfather could sit on his porch and swap stories, equal-to-equal. After eighteen years of lessons from my grandfather, I thought I had become a storyteller in my own right.

So when I got to [college], I sought out a venue in which to practice my art. And I found it in collegiate mock trial—a trial advocacy competition for undergraduates. This, I told myself, was what my grandfather had trained me for; if I worked hard and put his lessons into practice, I was certain that I’d find success. And I did. But, to my dismay, racking up victories, winning individual awards, even the storytelling itself—it all left me feeling unfulfilled. My most painstakingly prepared, most passionately delivered closing arguments brought me only a shadow of the joy that my grandfather radiated while telling his stories. I couldn’t understand or explain it, but something was clearly missing.

That’s when my grandfather came through with one final lesson for his apprentice. It started with a panicked phone call from my mom. My grandfather was sick with cancer, she said, and he didn’t have much time left. From then on, I spent as many weekends as possible by my grandfather’s bedside. In all those painful visits, it was never clearer that he was slipping away than the day when his hospice nurse asked to hear one of his famous stories. Naturally, he agreed, jumping into his favorite about the hospital he’d helped build in England while in the Air Force. But he had to quit halfway through. Mid-telling, he realized he no longer had the strength to finish; he realized the disease that had stolen his health was now stealing his stories too.

As he trailed off with the heavy hurt of loss spreading across his face, I took his hand. And I did what he had spent years training me to do. I told a story—his story. For the first time in months, I told a story not because I wanted a trophy or a plaque. I picked up where my grandfather left off and finished his story because I loved him and couldn’t stand to see him hurt anymore. When I turned back to him to ask whether I’d gotten all the details right, his cheeks were shining with tears. He squeezed my hand hard, smiled, and winked as he said, “Now that's a story, [name].”

That’s when it clicked. That’s when I realized why mock trial felt so hollow—why the stories I had been telling brought me only an ounce of the satisfaction that my grandfather’s stories brought him. With no real client to fight for, with only trophies on the line, I was telling stories just because I wanted something out of them. But my grandfather told his stories because he knew they would mean something to others, to the people with whom he shared them. As I sat there holding his hand, I thought of all the times he had brightened someone’s day with a story, of all the smiles and laughs his storytelling had inspired. That, I realized, was my grandfather’s real legacy—not the stories themselves, but the good he had done with them. And in finishing his story to spare him more pain, I was finally starting to live up to that legacy.

My grandfather is gone now. But his lessons—especially the final one—remain. And ever since I helped tell his story, I’ve been striving to live those lessons. I lived them as I continued with mock trial, telling stories to help my teammates reach the goals they’d worked so hard to achieve. I lived them as I volunteered at [college town] Legal Aid, relaying my clients’ stories to win them the assistance they needed. Now, I plan to live my grandfather’s lessons as an attorney. I can imagine nothing more fulfilling than standing in front of a jury, telling the stories of those who have suffered injury and indignity, faithfully, convincingly, passionately. And when I’m done, when I’m returning to counsel table after telling the tale of someone who’s suffered, I’ll look to the back of the courtroom. I know he won’t be there, but I’ll hope to see him anyway. My friend, my mentor, my grandfather—smiling, winking, and then silently mouthing, “Now that’s a story, [name].”

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Pepperdine2014

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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Post by Pepperdine2014 » Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:27 am

_

Seriously? What are you waiting for?

Now there's a charge.
Just kidding ... it's still FREE!


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