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Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:23 pm
by CaptainPuff
If anyone wants to swap PM me!

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 6:21 pm
by Feathers
Anyone interested in swapping today? Please PM!

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:39 pm
by shanana
I'm interested in swapping PS's, any takers??

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 4:45 pm
by jacktripper
anyone want to swap? PM me

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 1:59 am
by coolkatz321
Guess I'll add my name to the list-- PM for a swap. Cool beans.

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:19 am
by nikkei325i
In for a swap!

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:23 am
by badfish
I'm willing to swap.

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 1:09 pm
by aholmes87
edit

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 6:12 pm
by consummategamer
I'm in. PM me.

deleted

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:10 pm
by yoyo
deleted

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:17 pm
by nsrellow
First, I can not tell you how much I hate personal statements. Personal disclosure has never been one of my strengths. But alas it is necessary. The following is my PS in its very early stage. It is incomplete and sentences are out of order. Some of it may even be a bit incoherant. I know it needs MAJOR rewriting, but what I want to know is if you think there potential here or should I scrap it and start over. If there is potential, what should I focus on more/less? I appreciate any help I can get on this!




In Yong Ning, Ningxia, China I often feel a bit out of place. Whenever I walk through the city streets, go shopping, or do anything that would otherwise be mundane in America I become an attraction. People stop what they are doing and stare. Some point and mumble to their friends “Laowai” (foreigner) or “meiguoren” (American). Some people seem amused, others distrustful. Occasionally even young school children will follow me, from a safe distance of course, and giggle every time I turn to look or wave at them. This is likely the first time they have ever seen a foreigner, especially one so distinctively un-Chinese looking as myself. It is safe to say that in China, I reside well outside my comfort zone.
I teach English at a Yinchuan University (named after the capital city of Ningxia but actually located in the much more rural Yong Ning). The students there are poor both in money as well as academics. My students make it a challenge. Most of these students are destined to work in a factory and many had already resigned to the fact. Thus their focus is not on English. The classroom seethes with apathy. The students look at me as if they dare me to try to teach them.
Besides being a foreigner in a distant nation, I am forced out of my comfort zone….loss of my basic freedoms that had always been common place. I cannot leave campus without first asking permission. I must account for my location at all times. If I wish to go further than the surrounding area I must first apply at least 15 days in advance. More troubling than this however is that amidst it all I find myself unable to fully speak my mind. I am unable to express my opinions especially when it comes to matters of Chinese government, policy, and recent history. It does not seem to bother my students and friends, for they have never known this freedom. In fact most truly believe what their government has told them to believe.
This has taught me not to take for granted the freedoms I was born with. It gives me a sense of responsibility to protect them. Uphold them. Ensure that everyone in our country has as fair a shot at them as everyone else, regardless of race, gender, or annual income. I have seen the power of information. I have witnessed it abused. By the Chinese government who control the information and manipulate it to their benefit. In America information also has power. The difference is the freedom that we have to obtain it. Yet despite this there are many who do not have the means due to financial restraints or whatever. It is the duty of those who have the information to see that those who are ignorant of it are not deceived by it.
This is why I want to study (Public) Law. Knowledge of the law is power. I want to use it to aid those who have not the ability or resources to wield that power for themselves. Government…
Studying law poses a new and exciting challenge for me. It is competitive and difficult. Despite being outside my comfort zone, and indeed perhaps for that very reason, I am confident that I will thrive.



(p.s I don't plan on actually using the words 'comfort zone' as much. Merely a place holder till I find a better way to express the same idea.)

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 9:21 pm
by badfish
I just rewrote mine for all you guys who bashed it. Let me know if you would mind looking at it again. Nothing extensive, just if it was more like what you thought it should be.

badfish

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 10:48 am
by nsrellow
By the way if anyone wants me to read their PS feel free to send it to me. While I really don't have much experience with PS's, I do have a decent eye for grammar and basic composition. This English degree should get me something....

So I'm no pro but if you want a fresh pair of eyes to take a look at your essay, I'd be happy to do it.

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:58 pm
by aholmes87
Whoops. Mis-post

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:23 pm
by Carpathian1
I'd be willing to read a few, krug_jona@bentley.edu

Mine's about 2 pages double spaced, need to trim it down for Mich/others

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 4:45 am
by TammyG
Hi all, just finished my mine. Still needs work, but I finally got everything down on the page :D

It will need to be trimmed down for some schools. This is my draft for the schools who don't give a page limit, or say max 3-4 pgs. I'd like to cut it a bit anyway so that I can add the customary, "why x" paragraph.

Reading and editing PSs is sort of my new thing, so I'm def willing to swap. Just PM me!

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 3:00 pm
by hintoe
I'd love to swap... pm me if interested :D

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:26 pm
by misbuble
... looking to swap with potential (or actual) T14ers
Thanks!

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:02 am
by partymidget
i will swap with anyone

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:34 pm
by nervouslawapplicant
Looking for someone to read my optional essay. I'm willing to edit a PS or Optional essay. Please PM me if you're interested.

Thanks

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 3:09 am
by hiphopcoolboy
surfersam999@aol.com I would liek to trade!

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 12:59 am
by kow613
If anyone wants to trade, let me know.

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 11:14 pm
by JJim1919
If anyone wants to swap, let me know.

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 11:53 pm
by kflyer
Anyone want to swap, or just take a look at mine?

Re: Swapping personal statements

Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 12:27 am
by TopCat
kflyer wrote:Anyone want to swap, or just take a look at mine?
pm it to me. I will give you a detailed feedback [if you look at my profile, you will see that I was a Writing major and I have postgraduate work in Philosophy, for what it's worth]. I feel magnanimous today. And slightly tipsy with my second Heineken .