Yale 250 advice

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lateapplicant19

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Yale 250 advice

Postby lateapplicant19 » Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:26 pm

Hi there,

So, my personal statement and diversity statement were both, necessarily, Very Serious. I decided to go lighthearted and funny with my Y250 thinking that I don't want to drain whoever is reading it and show that you know, I'm not just a Very Serious Person. I think it's kind of a risk but it might pay off? I know that Yale is a black box but I figured I'd ask.

lateapplicant19

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby lateapplicant19 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 1:54 am

Ok folks. I decided to go ahead and write a funny/lighthearted one - I'd really appreciate some feedback if anybody has the time to read.

Lxwind

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby Lxwind » Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:37 am

lateapplicant19 wrote:Ok folks. I decided to go ahead and write a funny/lighthearted one - I'd really appreciate some feedback if anybody has the time to read.


I'll read it and provide feedbacks - I'm also deciding on what to write for the 250...just I'm a 0L and a non-native speaker, so my opinions won't necessarily mean anything.

nosymbols

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby nosymbols » Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:51 am

lateapplicant19 wrote:Ok folks. I decided to go ahead and write a funny/lighthearted one - I'd really appreciate some feedback if anybody has the time to read.


I'll read it also, but I have a similar disclaimer to the poster above, I'm a 0L as well

lateapplicant19

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby lateapplicant19 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:53 am

Turns out I can't send PMs. Well, here it is:

"In 2015 I attended the Oscars. For most plebs, that would be enough. Not I. I was determined to meet Meryl Streep. It did not matter to me that I was separated from her by some 30 rows of Hollywood.

A lovely lady in a big frilly dress sat next to me. She told, nay commanded, me to just walk up to Madam Streep during a commercial break. My then-boyfriend, a polite Midwesterner with polite Midwestern sensibilities, fretted about getting kicked out. “Fine,” I said. “I want to get kicked out of the Oscars because I tried to meet Meryl Streep.”

Two hours in, armed with the woman’s encouragement and many glasses of champagne, I walked to the front row. There she was, a supernova exploding with talent, charm, and accomplishment. “Ms. Streep, my name is XXXX, and it’s my birthday. I’ve watched all your movies and you’re the only person in this room I’ve wanted to meet,” I managed in my verbal vomit. “Happy birthday, XXXX,” she said with an award-winning smile. For a split second, we were best friends.

Her husband intruded on the fantasy by sitting next to her. I wondered, with sympathy, how many times had he witnessed this scene. “Mr. Gummer,” I said confidently, “you’ve made very attractive children.”

Yes, I went up to Meryl Streep and her husband at the Oscars and creeped on their children, but I learned a valuable lesson: never meet your idols’ spouses. "

nosymbols

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby nosymbols » Fri Feb 01, 2019 12:43 pm

lateapplicant19 wrote:Turns out I can't send PMs. Well, here it is:

"In 2015 I attended the Oscars. For most plebs, that would be enough. Not I. I was determined to meet Meryl Streep. It did not matter to me that I was separated from her by some 30 rows of Hollywood.

A lovely lady in a big frilly dress sat next to me. She told, nay commanded, me to just walk up to Madam Streep during a commercial break. My then-boyfriend, a polite Midwesterner with polite Midwestern sensibilities, fretted about getting kicked out. “Fine,” I said. “I want to get kicked out of the Oscars because I tried to meet Meryl Streep.”

Two hours in, armed with the woman’s encouragement and many glasses of champagne, I walked to the front row. There she was, a supernova exploding with talent, charm, and accomplishment. “Ms. Streep, my name is XXXX, and it’s my birthday. I’ve watched all your movies and you’re the only person in this room I’ve wanted to meet,” I managed in my verbal vomit. “Happy birthday, XXXX,” she said with an award-winning smile. For a split second, we were best friends.

Her husband intruded on the fantasy by sitting next to her. I wondered, with sympathy, how many times had he witnessed this scene. “Mr. Gummer,” I said confidently, “you’ve made very attractive children.”

Yes, I went up to Meryl Streep and her husband at the Oscars and creeped on their children, but I learned a valuable lesson: never meet your idols’ spouses. "



That's a fun story, it accomplishes what you want to do, but I'd tighten up the language just a bit, just keep looking at it and keep reworking the wording as many times as possible. I feel like plebs is a weird word to use. Make sure that "verbal vomit" is an image you want to create - it's strong imagery, but it might not make a good impression on queasier adcoms. Also I'm confused: did the husband do anything? why should you not meet him? it seems like he merely sat down, I wouldn't go out of my way to not meet someone for that.

Good luck

lateapplicant19

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby lateapplicant19 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 12:50 pm

Thanks, you highlighted exactly the things I wasn't sure of. Also, I guess he didn't really do anything. I embarrassed my self, I thought it would be a fun take on "don't meet your idols." I don't know, I went back and read the prompt and it said something about "your reasoning skills," and now I'm thinking maybe I should write something more meaningful. :| Urgh! I'm probably not submitting this until the deadline.

Lxwind

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby Lxwind » Fri Feb 01, 2019 9:49 pm

nosymbols wrote:
lateapplicant19 wrote:Turns out I can't send PMs. Well, here it is:

"In 2015 I attended the Oscars. For most plebs, that would be enough. Not I. I was determined to meet Meryl Streep. It did not matter to me that I was separated from her by some 30 rows of Hollywood.

A lovely lady in a big frilly dress sat next to me. She told, nay commanded, me to just walk up to Madam Streep during a commercial break. My then-boyfriend, a polite Midwesterner with polite Midwestern sensibilities, fretted about getting kicked out. “Fine,” I said. “I want to get kicked out of the Oscars because I tried to meet Meryl Streep.”

Two hours in, armed with the woman’s encouragement and many glasses of champagne, I walked to the front row. There she was, a supernova exploding with talent, charm, and accomplishment. “Ms. Streep, my name is XXXX, and it’s my birthday. I’ve watched all your movies and you’re the only person in this room I’ve wanted to meet,” I managed in my verbal vomit. “Happy birthday, XXXX,” she said with an award-winning smile. For a split second, we were best friends.

Her husband intruded on the fantasy by sitting next to her. I wondered, with sympathy, how many times had he witnessed this scene. “Mr. Gummer,” I said confidently, “you’ve made very attractive children.”

Yes, I went up to Meryl Streep and her husband at the Oscars and creeped on their children, but I learned a valuable lesson: never meet your idols’ spouses. "



That's a fun story, it accomplishes what you want to do, but I'd tighten up the language just a bit, just keep looking at it and keep reworking the wording as many times as possible. I feel like plebs is a weird word to use. Make sure that "verbal vomit" is an image you want to create - it's strong imagery, but it might not make a good impression on queasier adcoms. Also I'm confused: did the husband do anything? why should you not meet him? it seems like he merely sat down, I wouldn't go out of my way to not meet someone for that.

Good luck


I completely agree with the comments on word choice. Besides, how "never meet your idols' spouses" is a "valuable lesson" seems unclear to me. There seems to be a jump between the story itself and the "conclusion". It is an interesting anecdote but overall I'm not sure what the story wants to express. I'd suggest OP seek more advice and think twice if this is really the important aspect of who you are that you want to share with YLS's admission committee.

lateapplicant19

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby lateapplicant19 » Sat Feb 02, 2019 12:36 am

It's not really meant to be a "valuable" lesson per se, but I suppose if I have to explain the joke then it's not landing :mrgreen:

lateapplicant19

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby lateapplicant19 » Sat Feb 02, 2019 12:50 am

RE what I want to tell the ad com. With this, I wanted to show a side of my personality that doesn't appear elsewhere in the application. I figured my statements, resume, transcript, letters of recommendation etc... cover all the serious stuff. I felt like this was an opportunity to have a little fun, show that I am an extrovert, and a little mischievous.

There really isn't more to it beyond that.

Lxwind

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby Lxwind » Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:38 am

lateapplicant19 wrote:RE what I want to tell the ad com. With this, I wanted to show a side of my personality that doesn't appear elsewhere in the application. I figured my statements, resume, transcript, letters of recommendation etc... cover all the serious stuff. I felt like this was an opportunity to have a little fun, show that I am an extrovert, and a little mischievous.

There really isn't more to it beyond that.


Ok now I get the idea and it’s probably a good idea to mix the application up with something lighter, just this story still seems a bit “random” to me. But maybe that’s just me...

cavalier1138

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby cavalier1138 » Sat Feb 02, 2019 8:07 am

lateapplicant19 wrote:It's not really meant to be a "valuable" lesson per se, but I suppose if I have to explain the joke then it's not landing :mrgreen:


I think the joke is landing. I agree with the "tighten it up a bit" comment from earlier, but I definitely like the punchline. My only issue is that the punchline for me is the question to her husband, not the "never meet your idol's husband" bit. For some reason, that part is the funniest bit to me, and I wonder if there's a way to end with it.

Npret

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby Npret » Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:25 pm

I got the joke. I like this topic and it’s in line with other Yale 250 I’ve read over the years. The language needs tightening. Rewrite it and post it.

Be more active in describing the spell being broken when her husband of 30 years (or whatever is correct) sat down next to her. It’s too passive to me. Maybe just adding he length of relationship will help.

Also don’t use “plebs” - too casual.

Npret

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby Npret » Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:39 pm

Too late to edit so I’ll add- “big, frilly dress” makes it sound like something from Gone with the Wind. You need a better description imo.

lateapplicant19

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby lateapplicant19 » Sat Feb 02, 2019 2:08 pm

Npret wrote:Too late to edit so I’ll add- “big, frilly dress” makes it sound like something from Gone with the Wind. You need a better description imo.


Lol, she genuinely was wearing a big frilly dress - literally one of those things from Dynasty. But, I get you. Thanks!

lateapplicant19

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby lateapplicant19 » Sat Feb 02, 2019 2:09 pm

cavalier1138 wrote:
lateapplicant19 wrote:It's not really meant to be a "valuable" lesson per se, but I suppose if I have to explain the joke then it's not landing :mrgreen:


I think the joke is landing. I agree with the "tighten it up a bit" comment from earlier, but I definitely like the punchline. My only issue is that the punchline for me is the question to her husband, not the "never meet your idol's husband" bit. For some reason, that part is the funniest bit to me, and I wonder if there's a way to end with it.


I like this idea, I'll see what I can do. Thanks.

Tommiahipp

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby Tommiahipp » Sat Feb 02, 2019 8:04 pm

Just a thought as I read through this thread -

Based off Yale 250s I have read of people that have been admitted (there is a thread on TLS, check it out),they seem to be a little more... serious? Not sure the word I am looking for.

Anyways, I was thinking you could use the story and revamp the ending (take out the husband thing) and end it with "I learned a valuable lesson - Never let anything get in the way of your dreams, not even 30 rows of Hollywood socialites" or something. Just two cents! Good luck!

Npret

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby Npret » Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:09 am

OP - have you seen Spivey’s group YouTube about the Yale 250?
Here’s a link:
https://youtu.be/RnPyCy7UQvg

Spivey used to post here and always had solid and reliable advice. I miss his input.

Npret

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby Npret » Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:20 am

OP - I’m sure you’ve seen Ashas blog too- but I’ll put it here for reference.
https://law.yale.edu/admissions/jd-admi ... -albatross

lateapplicant19

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby lateapplicant19 » Mon Feb 04, 2019 2:15 am

Npret wrote:OP - I’m sure you’ve seen Ashas blog too- but I’ll put it here for reference.
https://law.yale.edu/admissions/jd-admi ... -albatross


Thanks.

I genuinely hate this. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and all I’ve done for the last 15 years is write. I even wrote another 250 that’s pretty meaningful to me, and I like how it came out but I have this sense that it’ll be just like most every other one. Interesting, thoughtful, well-written. Memorable? No. I’m not sure if I want to submit it. My gut tells me go funny. I AM the guy in the one I posted here, that’s who I am. Does it count as a conscise and well put together way of making my application well-rounded?

I don’t know.

Npret

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby Npret » Mon Feb 04, 2019 2:24 am

lateapplicant19 wrote:
Npret wrote:OP - I’m sure you’ve seen Ashas blog too- but I’ll put it here for reference.
https://law.yale.edu/admissions/jd-admi ... -albatross


Thanks.

I genuinely hate this. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and all I’ve done for the last 15 years is write. I even wrote another 250 that’s pretty meaningful to me, and I like how it came out but I have this sense that it’ll be just like most every other one. Interesting, thoughtful, well-written. Memorable? No. I’m not sure if I want to submit it. My gut tells me go funny. I AM the guy in the one I posted here, that’s who I am. Does it count as a conscise and well put together way of making my application well-rounded?

I don’t know.

It doesn’t have to be the greatest 250 ever written. I thought your idea of a lighter bit to balance out a serious PS was smart and strategic. Show your personality.

lateapplicant19

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby lateapplicant19 » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:54 pm

Npret wrote:
lateapplicant19 wrote:
Npret wrote:OP - I’m sure you’ve seen Ashas blog too- but I’ll put it here for reference.
https://law.yale.edu/admissions/jd-admi ... -albatross


Thanks.

I genuinely hate this. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and all I’ve done for the last 15 years is write. I even wrote another 250 that’s pretty meaningful to me, and I like how it came out but I have this sense that it’ll be just like most every other one. Interesting, thoughtful, well-written. Memorable? No. I’m not sure if I want to submit it. My gut tells me go funny. I AM the guy in the one I posted here, that’s who I am. Does it count as a conscise and well put together way of making my application well-rounded?

I don’t know.

It doesn’t have to be the greatest 250 ever written. I thought your idea of a lighter bit to balance out a serious PS was smart and strategic. Show your personality.


Can I DM you?

Npret

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby Npret » Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:43 pm

I have DMs turned off because it’s easier for me. You can post here. If it super important, orprivate, I can turn them on for you.

QContinuum

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Re: Yale 250 advice

Postby QContinuum » Mon Feb 04, 2019 10:17 pm

Maybe this is just me, but I'd replace "then-boyfriend" with another term, maybe "companion" or "guest" or even just "friend." I feel like there is still, for certain (especially older) folks, a perception that mentioning an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend in a professional setting - especially if the mentioner is a younger person - is verboten.

I didn't get the "never meet your idols' spouses" line.

Overall I agree that the anecdote was funny and memorable. I'd recommend ending it as Tommiahipp suggests, with a more "serious" lesson learned. I feel like that would strike the right balance between being funny and lighthearted, and yet still having some substance.



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