Need advice on my PS

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
lyf200997

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Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 1:41 pm

Need advice on my PS

Postby lyf200997 » Tue Oct 02, 2018 4:30 am

I've finished the first version of my PS and I'm looking for advice from you to improve this statement. Any suggestion would be helpful! :D


The rule of law is an important symbol of modern civilized society. With the changing of times, the status of law has been highly recognized and valued. Through years of intensive learning of law, I have developed a deep understanding of law, which is inextricably linked to people’s everyday life. I realized that a seemingly simple legal provision implies historical origin and balance of interests of all parties, and conveys the wisdom of legislators. In the study of law, it is not advisable to learn it by rote or take it for granted. Instead, it requires the appreciation of the value and philosophy of a unique legal system. After learning civil law system for years, I hope to delve into the learning of common law system by further study in the UK so that I can understand the differences and connections between the two major legal systems and deepen my understanding of civil law system.

Through years of intensive learning in the major of Law, I have cultivated a keen interest in this discipline and laid a solid foundation for further studies. Whether in learning specialized courses, conducting professional papers and self-reading, I took pleasure in analyzing all the facts of specific cases methodically, applying legal knowledge to real situations, and interpreting legislative ideas and historical background of each legal statute. It is noteworthy that the course of Comparative Constitutional Law enabled me to gain a deeper understanding of legislating purposes, and the differences of legal systems and strengthened my critical thinking. Meanwhile, joining the international class of Law School, I have adapted to western teaching mode, got a general understanding of common law system and got a good command of English language. I am capable of completing hundreds of pages of reading assignments for case studies in a week, submitting English paper with over ten thousand words and making English presentations. And I could proficiently use HeinOnline and Web of Knowledge for information retrieval, an important skill for law majors. Besides, I selected Accounting as my minor and obtained 83%. The study of accounting enriched my business knowledge and stimulated me to become more rigorous and meticulous. Based on my overall academic performance, I was granted second-class scholarship and the title of “Merit Student”.

Apart from pursuing academic excellence, I put much emphasis on the application of theories to practice. With an interest in insurance law, I cooperated with other team members in a summer social practice which focused on Work-Related Injury Insurance. Through interviewing related people in regional government organizations, law firms, hospitals and hundreds of injured workers in eight cities, I got an in-depth understanding of the implementation of related laws from multiple angles and realized the difficult points for effective legal execution. Besides, being an intern legal worker in Criminal and Civil Courts, I got familiar with the application of law in real life, and also deepened my understanding of legal practice. Engaging in the preparation work, I realized that each legal task requires great caution and preciseness, as can be reflected in the thick file of each case which contained detailed, rigorous and logical analysis of the facts. Even for engrossment clerks, they are supposed to be rather familiar with the cases and understand the whole content. The internships stimulated me to take basic legal work more seriously and strengthened my professional knowledge and hands-on abilities.

Additionally, an ardent participant in extracurricular activities, I served as the Deputy Minister of the Secretariat of Student Union, responsible for the issues of finance and reimbursement of the Union, and the preparation for the opening ceremony of the Legal Culture Festival. The practices allowed me to apply my accounting and legal knowledge, and employ my organizational skills. I also joined the Musicals Club, in which I acted as the filmmaker and subtitle executor for two musicals, Once and Spring Awakening. I endeavored to achieve perfect results in supervising the morning practice of participants, modifying the scripts, guiding the actions, and the final rehearsal. Though it took our team of over 20 members one year to prepare for each musical, our efforts finally paid off. The tickets for the musicals were sold out and the performances both achieved complete success. My strong cooperation ability and leadership will be conducive to my further academic and social life.

After studying the broad discipline of law in college, I aspire to explore the specific field of business law, which interests me most. The UK enjoys a high reputation for higher education which focuses on improving students’ critical and independent thinking, and hands-on abilities. I have a preference for western teaching model. Teachers often encourage students to express their opinions through group discussions and presentations, which can strengthen students’ motivation and improve their expression skills and logical thinking. These abilities are essential for legal workers. By studying the professional knowledge, I plan to accumulate my practical experience in a foreign law firm, and advance my career by entering a foreign company in the long term. I sincerely hope that I can obtain this valuable chance to realize my full potentials and attain my goals.

achris1210

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Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2017 6:18 pm

Re: Need advice on my PS

Postby achris1210 » Wed Oct 03, 2018 5:54 pm

Honestly, I would scrap this one and start over. The first rule of writing? Know your audience! Your audience is a law school admission committee, all scholars in law, and you’re telling them about how important law is in society. Your overall theme is telling them how much you already know about law. If I was on the admissions committee reading this, I would ask why the hell you want to go to law school then. And then roll my eyes. And then throw this in the ‘no’ pile.

Later on, you seem to be telling them everything that is already on your transcripts and/or resume, so it seems boastful and redundant. And what are you trying to tell them by including your extracurriculars? It’s not helpful and doesn’t add anything. There are a lot of grammatical errors as well.

Throw this one away and start over. Tell them an interesting story. Weave your interest in going to law school into that story.

Good luck.

JohnnieSockran

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Joined: Wed May 23, 2018 1:07 pm

Re: Need advice on my PS

Postby JohnnieSockran » Wed Oct 03, 2018 6:58 pm

I second the above. This feels like you tried to throw a lot of big words into this thing to sound smarter, but it comes across as a bit themeless. You need to tell a story with a main theme that is much simpler.

Based on something you said in the PS about learning the English language, I assume it is not a native language? So, for that reason, you need to find someone that is a good writer that you trust to edit this once you re-write it. For example, phrases like "conducting56 a paper" do not make sense.

JohnnieSockran

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Posts: 176
Joined: Wed May 23, 2018 1:07 pm

Re: Need advice on my PS

Postby JohnnieSockran » Wed Oct 03, 2018 6:59 pm

I can't edit my post above for some reason, so...

*** "conducting a paper"



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