Personal Statement Critics
Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2017 12:07 pm
Re: Personal Statement Critics
Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2017 1:20 pm
Pick a topic.
My personal vote is for you to focus on your personal trauma and bridging it into your work with victims' services. You can cut literally everything else, because it dulls the impact. If you're still over 2 pages, move the "I love UNC so much I want to marry it" stuff to your "Why [X]" statement (but maybe tone it down a bit).
As is, the lack of focus makes it difficult to follow the through-line after the third paragraph, and you should give this a thorough combing over for grammar and syntax issues.