For example, rather than just say my parents struggled financially, especially at one point during my childhood, I was wondering if I should be "creative" with my writing and start with something like:
From a distance my house appears like any other in the neighborhood. But as you get closer you notice it’s the only house with old cracked windows. The law needs to be mowed, and chips are a couple of shingles are missing. Sure these are just minor aesthetic differences, but they hint at much deeper issues that have influenced my outlook on life.
Then I get into realizing the financial issues, debt collectors, when this happened, and what I've learned from this.
I think it's okay but maybe you can shorten it a bit and make it more to the point.