Will someone please critique my DS?? Forum

[dlee975]

Thanks All....done

[dlee975]

this is my edited version. help

[gdane]

Uhhh... Kind of hard to critique this.

I think you drag the discrimination on a little too much. I see too much about the discrimination you went through, but not enough about what you learned from it, how your diversity makes you relevant to the law school community and most imporatantly what makes you different than every other ethnic minority.

BUT i LOVE the last sentence. Very powerful and relevant.

[dlee975]

hmmm.. i'm reading and really only one paragraph deals with the discrimination. I can see how I need to include how I grew from this and how these experiences make me unique.. I'll see what I can do. Thanks for the input.