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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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Shlonster

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Post by Shlonster » Sun Jan 03, 2010 6:32 pm

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Last edited by Shlonster on Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:39 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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tristanlxboyd

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Re: FINAL PS, any revisions would be great!

Post by tristanlxboyd » Sun Jan 03, 2010 7:09 pm

Why do you have to say the speeding car was BLACK?

No but I think it's good.

"Skip forward..." seems a bit awkward. Maybe "But "X amount of time later"..." would be a better construction.
Do you want to mention U of O in the second paragraph?
For balance, in the fifth paragraph, maybe say "robs a person of decades, and loses only 19 months in return?"

In the last sentence, perhaps "answering that question" would sound more elevated than "figuring that out."

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Shlonster

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Re: FINAL PS, any revisions would be great!

Post by Shlonster » Sun Jan 03, 2010 7:16 pm

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Last edited by Shlonster on Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Shlonster

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Re: FINAL PS, any revisions would be great!

Post by Shlonster » Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:55 am

Shameless bump... maybe more people will respond on a Monday.
:wink:

SandyC877

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Re: FINAL PS, any revisions would be great!

Post by SandyC877 » Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:45 pm

I'll tell you my honest opinion. All I read was a really sad story of a young guy dying and that in state A, law regarding vehicle homicide need to be revised.

Other than that, there is no resolve to the issue. Your PS doesn't showcase your academic ability to succeed at a law school, nor your analytical skills in overcoming a challenge. Who are you? You certainly aren't just a curious student seeking philosophical answers to certain questions about a particular law. What should I know about you that makes you an academic competitor or a passionate advocate for a cause? Unless of course, if you have a 3.8 and a 174, you can just write a big F YOU on the PS and you'll still get into most of T14.

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Shlonster

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Re: FINAL PS, any revisions would be great!

Post by Shlonster » Tue Jan 05, 2010 1:01 am

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