I really don't like the opening... it didn't do anything for me, even though I understand your intention. It seems a bit too naked.
Also, I think your ending should be more specific and detailed. What area of law are you interested in? It sounds like human rights, but your being very vague.
thanks for the reply! yeah, i wasn't satisfied with the level of detail either. it's just been tough to get more in-depth because of the darn word limit. do you think there's anything i should cut out so i can develop these spots more?